“That’s called confidence.”
“My father didn’t agree. He blamed my mother for ruining me.”
“Ruining you? Good gracious.” I watched as a plate of fish swimming in a buttery yellow sauce was placed in front of me. “That’s a bit extreme.”
“He essentially wanted me to be a tyrant. Like him. My mother was never going to let that happen, though, for which I am thankful. But when I was of age and proving to be just as powerful as he’d hoped, he took me in hand. That was when the beatings really amped up. He was going to make a man of me if it was the last thing he did.”
“By beating you?”
“By making me tough. And yes, the way he thought I would be tough was to get beatings.”
“And did it work?” I whispered, laying down my fork. My plate was clean. Hannon needed to take some lessons from the cooks in this place. Also, I needed to eat downstairs for dinner more often. The meals sent up to my room weren’t nearly this good.
“I was already tough. He just made me angrier at him. By eighteen, I’d had enough. I turned the tables and made sure it was the last beating he’d ever give me. I scared the whole castle that day. They thought I’d kill him and anyone who tried to get in my way. Soon after that, at my mother’s behest, I started looking for a way out of this place.”
“Why not go to her village? Why not meet people like you’d been raised?”
The next course came, rabbit with carrots and potatoes atop a mouth-watering sauce that I would probably dream about.
“I thought about it. Nearly did. But…as a prince, I would’ve had to visit with royalty in the Flamma Kingdom before being allowed to travel to my mother’s village. Once there, I never would’ve been able to relax. The wolves would’ve been nervous about the dragons rising up and going for the crown. And they weren’t wrong. My dad would’ve thought about it. Maybe even tried to goad me into it. I decided to remove myself from the whole scene. Faeries couldn’t give two shits about shifter royalty. They are much too arrogant. With them, I felt halfway normal.”
“What made you decide to propose?” A surge of jealousy stole over my heart. I cleared my throat and wiped my mouth in careful little dabs like he had.
He reached across the table and took my hand. “What it came down to was that she was willing to have me. It wasn’t a great love story. We each had something to offer the other, and we got on pretty well. It was enough to get me out of my kingdom and escape my father, which was the overall goal. Had I known—”
“There’s no sense in dwelling on that,” I said, entwining my fingers with his. “You obviously know it wasn’t your fault. The king sounds like… There really aren’t words for him.”
“He was just like my grandfather. My father tried to train me the same way he’d been trained.”
“It must be right because that’s how it has always been done,” I said.
“Just so.” He ran his thumb across the top of my hand as our dishes were cleared.
Dessert came, a chocolate mousse. I didn’t know how I was going to fit it all in my belly, but I was definitely going to try.
“Would you have missed home, do you think? If you’d…” I couldn’t even say it. I could not even ask about almost marrying someone else. Goddess save me, I was not usually a jealous person, especially not about something that had never come to pass.
He’s ours, my animal said, resting comfortably just below the surface, basking in his presence. You’re finally starting to realize it. No one else better lay a hand on him, or we’ll lop that hand off.
I rolled my eyes.
“What’s the matter?” Nyfain asked.
“Just…” I made a circle toward my chest. “My animal. She’s being…”
Right. I’m being right. Admit it.
“Overbearing,” I finished.
“I know what that is like, yes.” He took a dainty bite of his dessert, and I just couldn’t play along. I scooped mine up like I was famished. Holy crow, this dessert was fabulous. “Seriously, I used to think Hannon was a good cook. Why don’t I get meals like this sent upstairs? I feel cheated.”
Nyfain laughed. “Cook is one of the few who didn’t get the axe. I’m not sure why, to be honest. And yes, I would’ve missed home. I miss it now, while living this half-life. I would’ve missed my friends and, of course, my mother. Missed the feel of the air and smell of the wood. I had a good childhood, for the most part. I loved hunting and fishing and running on these lands, and I always hoped to do the same with a child of my own—”