“By the Tomcat,” I hollered back in response to Aaron’s question. Then, at the sound of his boots on the cement floor of the shop, I pushed up from where I’d been inspecting a hydraulic hose. Aaron rounded the nose of the plane with two coffee cups in hand. I recognized them instantly as cups from Carly’s coffee shop. “Thank God. I was starting to go bleary-eyed back there. I swear I’ve been staring at this damned thing for half an hour and it still doesn’t make sense.”
Aaron passed over my cup and I took a drink. “You know it’s already seven o’clock, don’t you?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.
I glanced around the shop. It had been empty for a while. Aaron had been in his office, doing some wheeling and dealing over the phone while Nick and I worked on the Tomcat. “Yeah, Nick left a little while ago. He had some shit to go do.”
Aaron chuckled. “It’s called having a life, Boomer. You should try it sometime.”
I eyed him. “I don’t think you have room to comment there, Rosen. You practically live here.”
“Newsflash man, I actually do live here.”
I groaned and turned back to my project. “You know what I mean.” I set the cup of coffee on the ground beside me and crouched back into position beside the plane to get a close-up view.
Aaron sighed. “You gonna tell me what the fuck’s going on? You’ve been a fuckin’ grizzly bear for a month now.”
I looked up at him. That was the problem with best friends. You eventually reached a certain point where there were no secrets. At any other job, I could keep my head down and coast but Aaron wouldn’t let me get away with that shit. No, he’d pick and poke and pry until he got to the bottom of it.
Who says men don’t talk about their feelings?
I sank back and landed hard on my ass, my legs stretched out in front of me. Even on the cement it felt good to sit down. Aaron was right. I’d been pulling crazy hours and busting my ass. It was the only way to keep my mind quiet. If I slowed down or even pumped the brakes, even for a minute, my mind zipped right back to worrying about Holly and the future.
I came up with nothing but questions and uncertainty, so I decided not thinking at all was a better solution. If I pulled a twelve, fourteen hour day, I’d go home, scarf down whatever leftovers I found in the fridge, and then pass out beside Holly before my mind could kick in. Then I’d wake up the next day, cuss at my aching muscles, and then throw myself back into the rhythm all over again. It was coping. It wasn’t supposed to be pretty.
“I think Holly’s gonna leave me.”
Aaron’s face dropped, registering the shock of my blunt words. He dropped to the ground beside me. “Damn. I guess I should have skipped the coffee and gone right for the whiskey.”
I laughed but it sounded hollow and tired.
“Let’s back up,” Aaron said, turning to face me. “Where’s this coming from? You two have a fight?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Well, at least not recently. It’s more of an Arctic freeze.”
“What happened? I mean, you guys just got engaged.”
I sighed and dropped my face into my grimy hands. I scrubbed them down my cheeks, not caring if they left streaks of grease behind. I was too damn tired to care. “Things were good in Germany. Really good, man. We spent every weekend together, traveled all over the country, did food and beer tastings, stayed in kick-ass hotels and even a fucking castle one night. It was fun and fresh and exciting. But since we got back—it’s different. I mean, fuck, I’m not even the same person anymore. I’m in the fuckin’ reserves. Can you believe that? And…and this job—” I stopped and glanced up at Aaron. “Not that I don’t appreciate it.”
Aaron clapped me on the back. He knew. I didn’t have to say it.
“Anyway, she’s been working to get her accounting business back up but it’s slow and then all the shit with buying the house. That was a fuckin’ fiasco and a half.” I stopped and dragged in another heavy sigh. “Suddenly, the weekends of adventure were traded for house hunting and then going to every Crate & Barrel on the goddamn West Coast. I went from being the best fucking pilot the US Navy has ever seen to being a scout on an absurd mission for the perfect coffee table. Like what the hell, man? What the fuck happened with my life?”
Aaron chuckled under his breath. I shot him a scowl and he held up a hand. “I’m sorry, man. Really. I am. It’s just…don’t you at least find this a little ironic? Rewind the tapes two years and we were on opposite sides of this. You were Mr. Happy go lucky in love and I was dreading turning in my little black book to Gemma.”