Jack's Surrender (Holiday Cove 5)
Page 60
Jack smiled and lifted his eyes to mine. “Well, that’s a relief. I’d hate to be taken out by an extraordinarily tough avocado. Not the way a naval officer should go down.”
I laughed. “No. Not at all. I mean, if you’re going to be taken out by fruit, it should at least be a watermelon or a pumpkin. Maybe like that two hundred pound one, do you remember? The one we saw at that little festival outside Brussels…” My smile faded as the memory wandered through my mind.
Jack’s smile vanished too. “Yeah. I remember.”
His hand was resting on the table and I had to fist mine together in my lap to keep from reaching for it. The pain radiated from both of us, adding to the heavy atmosphere. I traced the lines of his mouth with my eyes, wishing I could press my lips to his and take away the sadness and regret lingering there. We could lose ourselves for a few hours, leave it all behind.
I shook my head slightly, dismissing my own silent thoughts. It would only intensify the loneliness I was plagued by at night. I hated going to bed alone. Sharing my bed with Jack, even for a few hours, would only undo all the tiny millimeters of progress I’d made in learning to be on my own again.
“Tell me about New York,” I said, trying again. “You’re flying charters to Europe? Right?”
Jack nodded. “Mostly. I was in London a couple of days ago.”
“Wow! That sounds exciting.”
“Yeah. It’s a good change of pace.” Jack attempted a smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “What about you? Still working at Scoville?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s been great. Everyone is really nice and the ocean views from my office are a pretty sweet perk.”
Jack smiled. “Good. I’m happy for you. I’m glad it’s all worked out.”
Without thinking, I looked down at my hands and the place my engagement ring should have been. It hadn’t all worked out the way I wanted it to. But he knew that.
Didn’t he?
22
Jack
Holly looked more stunning than I remembered. More tempting than my hottest dreams. She wasn’t trying to be. I’d caught her off guard, no makeup, wearing an old pair of blue jeans and a hoodie. Damn, she was still so beautiful. And she was still supposed to be mine.
Sitting beside her at the table—our table—like we used to, made it impossible to eat. Hell, it was hard to breathe. I wanted to hold her, touch her, run my fingers through her hair. Every second I sat there was pure agony. Part of me wished I hadn’t accepted her invitation to come inside and the other part of me never wanted to leave.
But I knew I had to. I didn’t trust myself. My emotions had been running dangerously close to the surface for weeks, and I knew it was only a matter of time before they got the best of me and I either said or did something stupid. I wanted Holly back, but I still didn’t know what I wanted out of life. Re-up my active duty? See the world through civilian eyes? Or stay here in Holiday Cove and settle down and have a family? It wasn’t fair to pin anything on her. That was too much weight for one person to carry.
We finished our dinner and I helped her clear the table. I offered to stay and help her wash dishes, but she turned me down, saying she’d get to them in the morning. I knew it was a lie. She hated going to bed while the kitchen was still a mess. But I could see the exhaustion in her eyes and didn’t want to argue the point.
“How long will you be in town?” she asked, setting the plates into a sink full of soapy water.
“Just a few days. My next scheduled flight is Thursday.”
She gave a slight nod. I couldn’t tell if my answer made her happy or not. “I was invited to go to Aaron and Gemma’s this coming weekend. So…I was just…”
I pocketed my hands. “Ahh. Well, rest assured, I won’t be there to make it weird.”
She smiled up at me. “I’ll leave my avocados and oversized pumpkins at home then.”
“Oh, good,” I replied with a chuckle.
I rounded up Princess and said goodbye to Hunter. Holly’s eyes were misty when we pulled them apart at the door. She said goodnight and I took Princess to the rental car. Before I backed out of the drive, I looked up and saw her watching me through the narrow window on the side of the front door. I raised a hand and she gave a quick wave before disappearing, the sheer curtain falling back into place as she walked away.
I reached over and patted Princess’ head. “Let’s go home, girl.”