We squared off, staring at one another as the words faded. A deep ache thudded through me. I still wanted him, even after all this time, after the shit storm died down, he was still Jack, the man I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. The man who was about to be the father of my first child. That thought brought tears to my eyes. I blinked rapidly to clear them away and then made a show of brushing my hair out of my face.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said suddenly. “It doesn’t matter why or how we fell apart. All that matters now is that we’re not together. You came to town and wanted things between us to be cordial. So, fine, here I am, asking you to keep it in your pants until you leave town. Fair enough?”
Jack’s eyes went dark again. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes. What were you expecting?”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Go back to New York. Live your big, adventurous life. That’s what’ll make you happy.” I shifted my eyes to his, holding my breath while I waited for his response.
“Happy?” He nodded. “Yeah, I’m so fucking happy. I do what I want when I want. I’m living life on my own terms for the first time in forever and I got no complaints about it. Wouldn’t change one damn thing.”
Something broke inside of me. A fissure cracked wide open and left a gaping hole. Tears welled in my eyes and I turned away from Jack before he could see the glistening drops in my eyes. I drew in a deep breath but it morphed into a sob and lodged in my throat.
I nodded and swallowed the ball. “Good. That’s just great. Actually, that’s exactly what I needed to hear.” I stormed off for the doorway, desperate to escape before I lost the final shreds of any control I might have had.
I pivoted back once I reached the door. Jack was watching me intently, dark clouds still lingering in his eyes. I drew in a deep breath. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’ve already decided to raise this baby on my own! Trust me, this baby will be better off without you!”
His face dropped as recognition dawned in his eyes. I committed the expression to memory—one last one—and then stormed out.
25
Jack
“Holly! Holly, stop!”
I bolted after her. She didn’t listen. She stalked away even faster, each stomp of her high-heeled shoes ramming through my brain like echoes after an explosion. Which was essentially what had just taken place. An information bomb had been dropped, bam, right in the middle of my fucking life and there was no way to go back to the way things were before the ka-boom.
“For fuck’s sake! Holly—”
She held up her middle finger without looking back. “Leave me alone, Jack.”
I ground my teeth together. “You can’t come here and tell me that I’m about to be a fucking father and then storm out! That’s not how this works!”
Her SUV was parked in the front row and she hurried to round the front and yanked open the driver’s side door. She paused, one hand on the door, and I saw the tears staining her cheeks. My heart twisted at the sight of her in pieces. She might hate me but I still loved her. That much was clear. Not that I had a fucking clue how I was supposed to convince her of that fact. Especially when my mouth shot off and made things worse. Why the hell did I say I was happy? Couldn’t she see right through that?
“Holly don’t do this,” I said, getting as close as I dared.
“I don’t have a choice, Jack.”
“Yes, you do. Let me in, let me help.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t need your help. Besides, you’re too busy being happy, remember? Go back to New York. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.”
“Holly—”
She threw herself into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. I lunged forward but the door was locked. I hit my fist on the window. “We need to talk about this.”
She stared up at me, her eyes wide and startled. I could only imagine what I looked like. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so damned out of control and panicked. It wasn’t my intention to scare her, but at the same time, I wanted to startle some sense into her. How could she think she was going to simply leave, drive off into the sunset, and expect me to pretend everything was fine? Status quo?
Not a chance.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” I said, still pounding on the window. “Have breakfast with me. No screaming, no fighting. We need to talk about this!”
After a long stare, she tore her tear-filled eyes away from mine, looked down, and flipped the car into reverse. I jumped back as she pulled out of the parking space. Gravel kicked up as she peeled out of the lot and hit the unpaved road that led down the hill.