“Missy is. I want to give her back her peace of mind.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “She loves it here.”
We’d arrived a month ago. I was still recovering, and she was terrified unless I was by her side. Her nightmares had returned full force, and I had been at a loss as to how to help her. I’d thought knowing she’d had a hand in Zander’s demise would bring her closure, but it only seemed to make things worse. Two weeks after we arrived, I found her sobbing on the beach late at night, and she’d finally confessed her nightmares hadn’t been about Zander, but about me.
“In my dreams, I miss and you die,” she sobbed. “I lost you.”
I wrapped her in my arms. “No, sweetheart. I’m right here. Feel me.” I laid her hand over my heart. “Feel that. I’m strong. I’m good.”
“I miss you,” she sniffled, her voice quiet. “I keep thinking, somehow, something I’ve done has made you change the way you feel about me.”
“Never,” I vowed, stroking along her chin.
“You haven’t touched me.”
My fingers stilled. “I wanted to give you time,” I confessed. “Between my shoulder and the trauma you experienced, I thought maybe you didn’t want that yet. Or ever again,” I admitted.
Her beautiful eyes shone with unshed tears. “I want you more than ever.”
I covered her mouth with mine, and I kissed her. I didn’t stop until we were naked, the gentle breeze blowing around our overheated skin. I carried her to the ocean and made love to her, letting the warm water wash away her fears and my touch bring her back to reality. Back to me. That was the last nightmare she’d experienced. We’d both turned a page and began to heal.
“What about you?” Matteo asked. “Are you ready?”
“I think so. I’m tired of the dark. You used to say that, and I never fully understood. I do now. I want to live without fear. Without blood. Without every thought in my mind something shadowy and twisted.”
“But?” he prompted.
“I’m worried, Matteo. What if I’m no good at it? What if I can’t settle the way you have? What if I’m a terrible partner for Missy?” I barked out a laugh. “I never expected to fall in love. Never planned on giving up my path so early in life. I thought I’d outlast everyone. I had nothing else.”
“Until her,” he finished.
“Until her,” I agreed.
“Hurts to admit you’re not as tough as you thought you were, doesn’t it?” He chuckled then became serious. “I never planned on Evie, but she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She and our children fill me with a satisfaction I never found on the job.” He leaned forward, meeting my eyes. “It is never going to end, Marcus. The chase. The need to move on to the next case, the next bad guy, the next victim. All you can do is give what you can until you can’t give anymore. Frankly, I think you already know the answer. I think you want this, you’re just afraid to ask for it.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s true. I’m right on this subject.”
I glanced at him. “You think you’re pretty smart, don’t you?”
His lips quirked. “Evie says I am. And show some respect. I’m still the boss, and you’re my second.”
The sounds of feminine voices approaching made me smile. “I think the real boss and second are coming this way.”
He chuckled. “I think so too.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “Make this your home, Marcus. Talk to Missy. Leave her here so you know she is safe, and return to Canada and get your affairs in order. Leave that life behind. Come back unhindered and find a new path.” He extended his arm, sweeping it as if showing off the view. “Grab happiness and celebrate the second chance you were given.”
My gaze fell on Missy as she walked toward us. She was wearing a pretty sundress that left her shoulders and neck bare. Her skin was sun-kissed, and she looked healthy. Happy. She got along well with the women, was well-liked by the men, and adored by the children. And she returned their affection completely.
Matteo was right.
It was time.
Missy
“Live here? Permanently?” I asked, unsure I had heard correctly.
Marcus tilted his head, confused. “I thought you liked it here.”
“I do, but Marcus, is that what you want?”
He paced around on the beach, his hands clasped behind his back. He had healed well, but I still saw the occasional grimace of pain cross his face. Watched as memories weighed heavy on his mind. He stopped his pacing to stand in front of me. He lowered himself to the blanket I was sitting on.
“What I want is to live with you without fear. Without wondering what horrors I will uncover tomorrow that might take me away. I never want to see you worry and suffer because I walk out the door and you’re terrified I won’t come back,” he said with conviction.