After cleaning the floors, I take one last look at where Bennett is staying, not knowing if I’ll ever get the gumption to apologize to him. A big piece of me wants to ‘Suck it up, buttercup’ and deal with the repercussions, even if those are him telling me to fuck off. Bennett would have every right to do so. It would suck. The wounds would probably rip right open again just like all those years ago, but maybe this time, it would give the two of us some closure. With that plan in mind, I close his door knowing what I’m going to do tomorrow.
3
SHADOW
Shila’s head is stuck in a cloud, not realistically but figuratively. I watched her while she was working without gettin’ too close to her, but I saw the way she left, eyes red from either crying or attempting not to cry. I didn’t know which one was the case, though her shoulders weren’t held in defeat. If anything, it was more that she had some kind of epiphany. When she left The Breezeway, it wasn’t in a car or even takin’ the bus. She walked, after a day where she was on her goddamn feet all day, and now Shila is walkin’ home. The worst part about watching and waiting on her is that she has no idea I’m riding my bike so slowly, I could come up behind her, grab her without her realizing what’s going on.
It’s only when she stops to cross the street that she checks her surroundings.
“Shila.” I rev up the engine on my motorcycle, grabbing her attention.
“Bennett.” I can barely hear her over my exhaust but see her mouth a name I haven’t heard in more years than I can count, soft, subtle, and bitter-fuckin-sweet. I nod my head, telling her to come to me. She doesn’t at first. It’s like she’s weighing the pros and cons of being around me. Not that I can blame her. Our past is nothing but muddy fuckin’ waters.
“Butterfly,” I mouth back to her, letting Shila know I’m not giving up on her coming to me. Her lips quiver. That’s also when she makes her way towards my bike. I do one better, not wanting to hold traffic up in case it actually comes to that in this small-as-fuck town. I wheel my bike to the side, closer to her, and shut the engine off, practically meeting her halfway.
“Oh God,” is what Shila says. I climb off my bike, put my ass to the seat, dig into the interior of my cut, grab my pack of smokes, and put one in my mouth.
“You goin’ to stay in place, or are you comin’ closer?” My hand reaches for my Zippo to light my cigarette.
“You kept it?” Shila moves closer. I spread my legs, hoping she’ll get my message loud and clear.
“Kept everythin’ you ever gave me,” I respond, giving her more information than I probably should have. The minute she’s only a step away from me, I dangle my cigarette between my lips and grasp her hips, getting Shila where I want her. This way, she can’t leave me, and I’m for damn sure not walking away. Not again.
“Bennett.” Her hands move to my shoulders, holding on for dear life. One of my hands leaves her hip. I take a drag of my cigarette then pull it out of my mouth, making sure I don’t blow my smoke near her face or burn her with any stray ash.
“Thinkin’ we need to talk, Shila.” My eyes take her in, cataloguing every damn thing. That dark chocolate hair is longer than ever, those bourbon-colored eyes, light brown with flecks of honey, lips that are full and a deep red, a body that was that of a teenager has now developed into a woman. And fuck me sideways, Shila’s curves are goddamn amazing’.
“Yeah, our last one didn’t go that well.” She pauses mid-sentence. I don’t try to rush her, not because I don’t want to but because this shit is gonna take time, and it won’t all get fixed on the side of the road. “I’m sorry, Bennett. So sorry. I should have left. I thought I was protecting you. Clearly, it didn’t work, no matter what I did. They were hell bent on trying to tear us apart, and they did just that. Watching you leave that day, it tore at my soul.”
“Butterfly, don’t blame you for not goin’ with me. Fuckin’ sucked the way shit played out. I hate admittin’ it now, but it was probably for the best you let me walk. I had a lot of growin’ up to do. Fucked around a lot in jobs, did a stint in jail, and if it weren’t for my brothers, who knows what I’d end up in.” Shila starts to take a step away, but ain’t no way I’m letting that shit happen.