I stared at him before blushing as red as an apple at Rebecca. She sighed. “If you think I’m not immune to sex toy talk by now, you’re shockingly misinformed. And West? I’m happy to come to Hobie anytime to watch the girls and visit with Doc and Grandpa. Maybe plan it for your three-year celebration instead,” she suggested before leaving the room in search of a fresh cup of coffee.
Nico smiled after her. “That woman is a saint.”
“What?” Saint called from where he’d moved Augie to a snuggle by the fireplace.
“Not you, asshole,” West called back. “A real saint.”
“Anyway,” Felix said, grumbling at his cousin. “As I was getting ready to say, if you find yourself in need of a vacation—either from this madness,” he said, gesturing to the room at large, “or from Monterey and memories of your mom, we’d love to host you at our place anytime.”
Lior, who’d come into the room quietly and sat on the floor by Felix’s feet a few minutes before, lifted his head from Felix’s lap. “I agree. We’d love to have you, and I can promise no Wildes or Marians in the entire place.” He shot a look at his husband and stifled a grin. “Anymore.”
Max Wilde huffed. “Remember what I said about being a peasant? This is exactly what I mean. You royals have no respect for the servant class. I live in the palace with you.” He tacked on a sarcastic “Your Majesty” at the end.
Lior didn’t even turn his head, but he did roll his eyes and raise his patrician countenance. “Ignore him. Plebes don’t count. Clearly.”
Arthur sniffed loudly. “Note to self: special-order itching powder and accidentally dust it over the royal bedding.”
“Hey!” Felix said. “I don’t deserve that. I don’t treat Max like a peasant. More like a pesky baby brother.”
Lior sighed. “I don’t think you can call it royal bedding if it comes from Bed Bath & Beyond.”
The horrified look on Arthur’s face set me off. I started laughing, which made Felix and Max both laugh, too.
“I beg your pardon,” Arthur said, clutching at his throat. “I’ll have you know those sheets were made from the cocoons of Mulberry silkworms.”
“Gross,” Felix said. “Why can’t we have the ones from Bed Bath & Beyond? Those probably kill less animals during manufacturing.”
Arthur took a calming breath. “I assure you, all of the royal silk is procured from sources that utilize the Ahimsa method of waiting for the silkworm to escape before removing the cocoon. And if you think you’d be doing the world a service by selecting cotton instead, you obviously remain uninformed that cotton is the most heavily sprayed crop there is. High water use and the use of harmful pesticides and insecticides contribute to…”
I stopped listening as he droned on about cotton production. Rebecca had entered the room looking like the bearer of bad news.
“Harold,” she said, making her way toward my grandfather. “Mikey has just been contacted by the Aster Valley sheriff. It seems Tilly and the others have been arrested.”
Harold sighed in a resigned sort of way. “Again? What for this time?”
Even though I’d heard stories about Tilly, Granny, and Irene getting into trouble in the past, this was the first time I’d been around for it. Unlike everyone else in the room, I panicked. Tilly was in her eighties. As feisty as she might have been, she wouldn’t fare well in jail, even for a short time.
Rebecca handed me the now-familiar keys to Mikey’s SUV. “According to the sheriff, they’re unsure which charges will stick. But the choices are the usual. Public indecency, public nuisance, theft, vandalism, and abduction. Mikey suggests the abduction charge is a stretch.”
Harold stood up and patted his back pocket to make sure he had his wallet. “Who the hell did she abduct?”
“One of the sleigh ride horses at the Christmas tree farm.”
Harold and I blinked at her for a split second before the room erupted in laughter and strong opinions. I couldn’t believe they’d be so unfeeling as to laugh at a time like this. What if she was hurt? Was it possible a woman like Tilly would know how to handle a giant draft horse? What if she was cold? It was freezing outside, and she barely had any body fat.
Rebecca patted the keys in my hand. “Go. I’ll hold them off as long as I can. Lord only knows how Aster Valley would handle a love posse.”
I’d heard her use that phrase before, but I’d never been quite sure what it meant. After only being here for a little while, I was beginning to understand.
6
Darius
I was walking out of the county clerk’s office when I happened to see Miller Hobbs racing into the sheriff’s office next door with a clear look of fear on his face. An attractive, somewhat familiar older man with white hair held on to his elbow as they pushed through the glass doors.