“Mr. Troy, Kinley and her mom have been in an accident…”
This was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
When I saw her, covered in bruises, eyes closed, an IV in her arm, machines blaring loudly in her room, I wanted to break down.
I wanted to switch places with her.
I wanted to make her wake up.
I felt so fucking guilty over what I’d said to her before she drove off with her drunken mother. I couldn’t help but think it had something to do with the accident. I was the cause of this.
Of us.
All I had time to do was think, with a blinding headache from lack of sleep. I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew I was slowly opening them with Kinley staring at me.
I jumped out of my chair and was over to her in two strides, grabbing her hand and kissing all over it while I hit the emergency button to let the staff know she was awake.
“I love you so much.” I kissed all over her face, her mouth. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Our eyes locked, both of us trying to focus and take each other in.
The RN and doctor on call made their way into the room. I stood back, allowing them more space, even though I wanted nothing more than to still be sitting by her side, holding her hand.
The doctor proceeded to check all her vitals, asking her questions at the same time. She was alert, answering each one without trouble or confusion, only easing my anxiety a little. I still felt so fucking guilty.
“My mom? Is she okay?”
He nodded. “She’s fine. She’s detoxing in ICU. You can see her once I get your test results back.” He continued with questions until finally, they left us alone, saying he would be back with the results from her exams from earlier that day.
Once I was sitting on the edge of her bed, she expressed, “Christian, I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you.”
“Shhh…” I kissed her. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have never said that to you. I should have gone with you. You wouldn’t be here if I had.”
“No.” She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here.” I could tell she was weighing her words, and my heart was in my throat.
“I don’t know what happened. She just woke up in a rage and grabbed the wheel.”
My eyes widened.
The rest proceeded in slow motion. Especially when the doctor walked back into her hospital room with her test results.
Stating, “There was damage to your fallopian tubes.”
I was in medical school. I didn’t have to hear the rest. All I kept thinking was how I could have lost the love of my life. I came to with Kinley bawling her eyes out in my arms.
Big.
Huge.
Ugly tears.
I didn’t hesitate, pulling away and looking profoundly into her eyes. All I saw was my future, with her as my wife.
I made my choice. It was her.
It was always her.
So I spoke with conviction…
“Marry me, sweetness.”
Chapter 26
Kinley
Now
“Mom.” I snapped out of it. “You have no idea the damage you caused that night.”
“I can only imagine.”
“No, you can’t. You want to know why? Because you ran! Like a damn coward!”
“I didn’t want to be a burden on you anymore.”
“Bullshit. You didn’t see me again because you couldn’t fucking face me, Mom. That’s what you do when the going gets tough—you run.”
“What are you talking about?” Christian asked, looking over at me.
“I never told you this, but when you left to go shower, I went to look for her. I just wanted to say goodbye. I knew she couldn’t be in my life after what had happened. I wasn’t going to lose you, Christian. I chose you.”
He jerked back, never expecting me to say that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There was nothing to tell. I went to her hospital room, and she wasn’t there anymore. Even after that day, I went to your house because I just needed to have closure. To have something for everything you’d put me through, but you weren’t there either. All your stuff was gone. The landlord said you just dipped out. Your cell was disconnected. You completely dropped off the face of the earth, and I spent the last ten years still worrying about you. How stupid am I?”
“I know, but after what I did … I was so ashamed.”
“Then you remember?”
She bowed her head, the shame eating her alive. “I asked the doctor how you were, and he said you were alright, and that was all I needed to know. I knew you were with Christian and his family. I knew they’d take care of you, protect you, be everything I wasn’t. I couldn’t destroy your life any more than I already had. I’m sorry, Kinley Care Bear. You deserved Christian and his family, not me. I left you so you could be free of me.”