Did that make sense?
Yes. And no.
But I loved Carson, and I couldn’t lose her. That’s all I knew right now.
“Is it done? The Guaranno revenge?”
He took a long breath. “I will make sure it is.”
That was code for Kai taking it from here. I was out. Carson was out. And really, right now, that’s all I cared about. I didn’t ask more questions. Maybe I should’ve. Maybe a normal person would’ve, but I didn’t. I knew the deal. I knew what family I’d been part of when I was growing up. Kai said the revenge was against him and Tanner, but this was family business.
I was out, I wasn’t in that business, but my last name was Bennett.
I was a Bennett.
I hadn’t left the family completely. I couldn’t.
I loved Kai. I loved Tanner. I loved Brooke. They were my family, so there was a gray area I would always have to navigate. Because of that, because of what they did, I would continue to do what I did. I was a doctor. I saved lives. I’d started down that road to make up for what my family did. It had been a conscious decision then, and it was even more so now.
“I love you, brother.” Kai put a hand on my shoulder again.
I nodded, my throat constricting. “I love you, too.”
That was the problem. I loved them too much to leave.
It would be my burden to carry.
But watching Carson, I knew I couldn’t put her through it as well.
That was the problem.
Chapter Thirty-One
CARSON
When I woke, it took a minute before everything came back to me.
Once it did, it came in a rush.
The club.
Jonah.
Being kidnapped.
Running in the woods.
Jonah.
Sex with Jonah.
Tanner.
Threats.
Jonah.
His family.
Almost getting to my family.
And then—BANG!
He’d brought me back to their house, to the lock room.
He’d asked if I wanted to go to a different room, but this was the one I was familiar with. There was a lock. Security feeds. I felt safe here, and how the tides had changed.
It was dark in here, but I heard a rustling, and a second later, a weight settled on the bed next to me. I felt hands smoothing my hair back, touching my face, running down my arms.
I knew whose hands those were.
He moved in closer, and I leaned forward, my forehead resting on his shoulder.
He held me, like he’d held me in the vehicle, all the way back here again.
I felt him tense.
The peaceful moment was gone. Whatever he was going to say was going to ruin it. I felt him preparing.
I couldn’t get that guy out of my head, his gun pointed at me.
“I didn’t fight him,” I said.
“What?” Jonah dipped his head down, his breath warming my shoulder.
“He came to kill me, and I didn’t fight him. I stopped as soon as he said to.”
“If you hadn’t, he might’ve tried to kill you sooner. He was a professional. His job is literally to kill. You waited, and that gave him some time. It helped. You standing there made him stand there, and that helped. It did.”
“I could’ve kept running.”
“He would’ve shot you. I saw his face. He wasn’t going to chase you in the waiting lounge. If you had reached for the door, he would’ve killed you then and there. You stopped and faced him, and he took his time. Trust me.” His lips grazed over my skin. “It helped. It did.”
I guessed that was something then.
“I didn’t want to see him when he killed me. I was thinking of my family.” I turned my head. Mere inches separated our mouths. “I thought of you.”
His eyes darkened, softening. He cupped the side of my face, and his thumb rubbed my cheek. Tenderly. My heart was breaking because I knew he couldn’t feel the same as I did.
I was going to say it anyway.
“I fell in love with you.” The words rushed out of me in one breath.
I didn’t register his reaction. I almost didn’t even want to see it. I just wanted him to know because that’s the kind of person I was. I left no stone unturned, no regrets. I didn’t hold back.
“I think I fell in love with you when you looked at me in that morgue,” I said. “You were standing over her, but when you looked at me, I just felt it. And I’ve continued to feel it. It’s made me go a little mad, because I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to feel what I feel when I’m around you, but I do.” I took a breath. This was the hardest part. “You never would’ve come into my life if she hadn’t died. But she did, and it’s like she brought you to me. I feel so horrible admitting that because a part of me thinks that’s beautiful. I’m grateful. But a part of me is so sad, because it was her death. She should’ve had a full life, and she isn’t going to. You loved her, and you have to feel that loss. But I love you. I do. And now you know.”