His light blue eyes sharpen every time he says, ‘Cross.’ “What I know is that you can have a happy life. You can start over, Bethany. All you have to do is tell me what happened.”
It’s like he read my mind. A way out. This is the bottom of the barrel, isn’t it? When you need witness protection to find a way out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself.
Officer Linders clears his throat and the spell from Walsh is broken for only a moment as my eyes flick between the two of them. A man with hate for me, and another who I’ve felt from the first day I saw him, that he wanted to help me.
“All you have to do is tell me what happened.” His hand gestures an inch above the table as he adds, “No matter how guilty you may feel; no matter what you’ve done.”
Everything seems to slow as a part of my conscience begs me to consider. The part that remembers how dark Jase’s eyes were when I last saw him. The part that’s fear’s companion. The part that questions if I’m strong enough for all this. Even if Jase tells me what he did and why he was sitting there like that, like he was someone else. Even if I pretend as though what happened earlier today will never happen again.
And yet another part of me is like a signal amid all the noise. A part that’s fading away. A small part that remembers this all started because I wanted a single thing from Jase Cross.
A name. The murderer who made the one person I had left in my life disappear. Justice for my sister.
A name Jase has yet to deliver.
I have to blink away the thoughts, and Officer Walsh seems to take it as me considering his offer.
Say nothing, do nothing. Say nothing, do nothing. Fall down the rabbit hole; they can even throw me in that pit if they want. When I finally land, I’ll do what I’ve always done. I’ll stand up on my own and keep moving. With Jase or without.
Three knocks at the door startle me, causing the chair I’m firmly seated in to jump back. Officer Walsh is the one to stand and rise, leaving Linders staring at me, relishing in the hint of fear I’ve shown. I can barely hear someone outside the slightly ajar door speaking to Officer Walsh over the sound of my heart racing.
All my life, I’ve lived by elementary rules. Do what is right and not what is wrong. It’s the simplest way to break down the laws of life. And yet here I sit, not knowing my judgment and wondering when the black and white of right and wrong turned so gray for me. Especially since I can’t even list all the wrong things I’ve done recently. There are too many to count, yet I’d defend them all.
“Be right back.” Officer Walsh is tense as he grips the door, locks eyes with me, then leaves the room. With only Linders across from me, a new tension rises inside of me.
I don’t like the way he looks at me. Fear and anger curl my fingers into a fist in my lap.
Say nothing, do nothing.
He stares at me and I him, neither of us saying a word until a small red light goes off to my left. It’s oddly placed in between the painted bricks. If it had never come on, I would’ve never known of its existence. And the little red light changes everything.
“It’s clear for the moment, but I don’t know how long we’ll have, so I’ll be fast,” Linders says quickly with a new tone I haven’t heard from him. Leaning forward, the distaste vanishes, and the hate I felt he had for me is nowhere to be found.
“It’s all being scrubbed; every shred of evidence on you is going to vanish. Or it already has. Officer Walsh won’t have anything to hold you on and no charges will be pressed.”
“What?” Disbelief takes the form of a whisper.
“He already knows someone here at the station is in their back pocket. It’ll be all right,” he assures me when my expression doesn’t change. “If you want to go to a cell, tell me. If you’d rather stay here, we’ll have to keep this up when Walsh comes back, but I’ll make sure he doesn’t cross the line. There are others too who are loyal to Walsh, but I’ll stay with you the entire time. Unless you want to be alone.”
“I don’t understand.” I don’t know why that’s my reply.
Because I do understand. The pieces line up with one another perfectly. The Cross brothers control the police department. I knew that. I know that now, even. But to be a part of it, to see it happening…