“Where’s the other one?” I ask.
“Other what?” The doctor weighs his round paperweight in his hands and carefully puts it back where it was before Eldest picked it up.
“Other Eldey-thingy. There’s you,” I say to Eldest. “You’re in charge of the doctor’s generation. And the boy I met will be in charge of the new generation. But what about all those twenty-year-olds? Who’s in charge of them?”
The doctor and Eldest exchange a look.
“That Elder died,” Eldest says. His face is dark, set. I glance up at the doctor. His face is downcast, the folds of his crow’s feet crinkling deeper.
I wonder just how that Elder died.
“Clearly,” Eldest says, a tone of finality in his voice, “you are different. Freakish appearance, abnormally young. ”
“So?”
“I do not like differences. Differences cause trouble. ”
The doctor twitches nervously. He starts rearranging his desktop again.
“Gee, I’m real sorry about all that. But, you know, it’s not like I wanted to be here. ”
“Regardless. The easiest thing to do would be to deposit you among the stars. ”
“Eldest!” The doctor steps forward, a look of shock and concern on his face.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“We have release hatches. ” Eldest speaks slowly, as if talking to someone stupid. “They open up to the outside. ”
The meaning of his words sinks slowly into my skin until I have absorbed it with all that I am.
“You want to just dump me in space?” My voice is low, but not for long. “It’s not like I’ve done anything wrong! I didn’t wake myself up, you know!”
Eldest shrugs. “It would be by far the simplest solution. You are, after all, nonessential. ”
“We can’t do that,” the doctor says, and I totally forgive him for being creepy and threatening me with drugs. At least he doesn’t want to let me implode in space.
“No, Doc,” Eldest says. “It’s very important that you understand, that she understands that yes, we could just dump her in space. We could,” he repeats, gazing at me.
“But we won’t,” the doctor says firmly. “She can stay here in the Ward. That will keep her away from the general population. She won’t cause as much of a disturbance if she stays here. ”
“You think so?” Eldest says, his voice soft but doubtful.
“I’m sure of it. Besides, the Season will begin soon. That will distract the others. ”
Eldest narrows his eyes at the doctor. Something the doctor said there has struck the wrong chord with him, that much’s for sure. He opens his mouth, notices me watching him avidly, and glares at me. “Come outside with me, Doc,” Eldest commands.
The doctor looks nervous. Guilty.
“Oh, don’t go on my account,” I say, leaning back in the chair. “Go ahead and say whatever it is you want to say in front of me. ”
Eldest turns to the door. “Doc,” he orders.
The doctor scampers up and follows Eldest out.
As soon as the door zips shut behind them, I leap from my chair and press my ear against the metal. Nothing. I go back to the doctor’s desk, dump out his pencils, and put the cup against the door, like they do in those old Disney movies. More nothing.
“—last time!” Eldest roars so loudly that I almost drop the cup. I cram my ear against the metal door, straining for sound.