Run, my body tells my brain. When something’s not right, run. Running makes you feel better. Normal.
But why run? Run where? What’s the point?
Seems silly, running.
May as well stand here.
And wait.
The world seems slow.
Like walking through water.
Like drowning.
The cheering washes over me, like a warm wave of joy, and I join in, raising my voice in happiness, becoming a part of the crowd. Elder looks at me funny (not funny ha-ha, but funny weird), and he doesn’t cheer. I don’t know why.
“Why don’t you cheer?” I ask.
Elder takes a long time to answer, and when he finally does, I’ve nearly forgotten the question. “I’ve got nothing to cheer about. ”
Why do you need a reason to cheer? Why not just . . . cheer?
Everyone starts to leave the Keeper Level. I stand still, watching them go. Their walking makes the floor rumble a bit, like ripples when you throw a pebble in the water. I close my eyes and feel the world through my feet.
For a moment, I remember Earth. Remember ripples in ponds.
The memory fades. I am here. Now. Not there.
Why think about Earth?
Elder touches my arm. I open my eyes. Everyone else is gone. But not Elder or Eldest. And not me.
Elder starts to stride toward Eldest. He turns around and looks at me. “Come on,” he says. “Aren’t you going to come with me?”
Oh, yes. Of course. I follow him.
Eldest looks at me, and my body reacts before my mind, my stomach clenching and my gut twisting in nausea. I stumble—why don’t my feet want to go closer to Eldest? Why is my breath catching, my heart racing?
Why don’t I like Eldest?
I shake my head to clear my mind. Of course I like Eldest. Why would I not like him? He is my leader.
A loud noise makes me jump. The noise came from Elder.
I have missed part of their conversation. I squint and focus my attention on them. It seems very important that I understand. I feel like I should understand, should care.
“What did you do?” Elder shouts.
Why is he shouting?
“Nothing more than what you will do. ” Eldest’s voice is a snarl.
“I will never be like you! Never! This is all a lie!” My gaze follows his arm up, to the stars. They are so pretty. Sparkly. Glittering. Not like the stars at home.
My heart misses a beat, and my breath is gone for a m
oment. Home? This is home. Why think about other stars? I have these stars. These stars are enough. They’re pretty. Sparkly. Glittering.