“Who’s there?” a voice—my father’s—calls out.
Heavy footsteps thump their way closer to us. Dad and Chris, both dressed in fatigues, approach. “Emma? What’s going on?”
Emma straightens, and whatever warning she was about to give me dies on her lips. “Sir. Found these two out here. ” She pauses. “Kissing. ”
There’s a little bit of a tattletale quality to her voice at this, but I’m actually glad she’s told Dad that I was out here making out. At least she didn’t say what she suspected we were doing—discovering the compound and Dad’s secrets.
Dad do
esn’t look happy, though. “I’ll take Amy back up,” he growls. “Chris, can you escort this boy back to his building?”
“This boy can walk himself,” Elder snaps.
Dad stares him down. “There’s a lot you should be afraid of out here, at night, in the dark. ”
Elder doesn’t flinch. “I know what to be afraid of,” he says. “And it’s not the dark. ” He waits a heartbeat, then adds, “It’s not you either. ”
Chris touches Elder’s shoulder, guiding him back to the colony, but Elder shoves past him.
Dad waits until Chris and Elder are out of sight and Emma is back patrolling the camp before he turns to me. “What were you thinking?” he says. I’m shocked at how angry he sounds. “It’s dangerous out here, Amy. ”
“We were still in the colony,” I protest, because, as far as he knows, we were.
“And kissing one of them!”
This stops me in my tracks. The night is eerily silent now, the air very still.
“What?” I ask in a monotone.
“Amy, those shipborns . . . you shouldn’t be with them so much. ” Dad starts pacing, just on the outside of our building.
“I dunno, Dad. I feel like Elder’s been a little bit more forthcoming than you’ve been lately . . . don’t you think?”
“They’re not like us,” Dad continues, ignoring my accusation.
“How?” I ask, my voice still cold.
“Just look at them! The way they all look the same. The way they all think a kid is their ‘leader. ’ They’re . . . strange. Different. For God’s sake, Amy, the shipborns are not like us!”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” I say, louder than I’d intended. We’re going to wake up the whole colony. “They’re people. Good people. ”
Dad shakes his head pityingly, and it is that, more than anything else, that cranks my rage up even higher. “Oh, Amy,” he says. “You weren’t even supposed to be here. ”
Something clacks into place in my head. “Then why did you give me a choice?” I say, my voice growing louder and higher with each word. “Why even leave that decision up to me? You could have prepared me more. But no—you just waited until Mom was already frozen and then you freeze yourself, and you leave me, alone, to make up my mind on whether I should give everything up for you! And when I do actually do that—it’s the wrong choice! If you never wanted me to come, why didn’t you say so? Why did you leave it up to me at all? Why did you make it seem like I could make my own decisions when you never even packed any of my things for me? I’ve seen the trunks in storage—and the one with my name on it is empty!”
I’m breathing heavily by the time I’m done speaking, and my face is hot, and my fists are curled, and I don’t care.
Dad’s jaw works. “I’m sorry about that,” he grinds out. “I’d promised your mother not to try to convince you to stay, and I worried if I told you what to do, you’d do the opposite. I wanted you to be able to make a choice you could live with. ”
“I did. ”
“I didn’t know things would get this messed up. This is not the mission I expected. And I had no idea you’d wake up early like that. I wish you hadn’t. Maybe then you could see that the shipborns—”
“Don’t even start,” I say. “The ‘shipborns’ aren’t a part of this argument. ”
“They hate you. ” Dad stares at me, daring me to break eye contact. “I see the way they flinch away from us, the way they look at us as if we’re freaks—even you. ”
“Elder doesn’t hate me,” I say. I know this more than I know anything.