The Freshman (College Years 1)

“You choose your own path,” I tell him. “You don’t have to end up like your parents.”

“It’s not like I’ll mean to do it. It’ll just happen. This is why I’m so hell-bent on fucking every chick on this campus. Once I get married, I’ll be lucky to get it once a month. Then it’ll just be me, my hand and internet porn,” Caleb says morosely.

At least he didn’t say he’d cheat. I think of my father. He’s a cheater. Mom was too, though she was a lot more discreet about it. Helena hit on me, and that is seriously messed up. No way would I cheat with my dad’s wife. That’s some sick and twisted shit.

“You won’t end up like that,” I tell him. “It’s all a choice, Caleb. You can make your life however you want it to be.”

I think of my life. My father’s plan. The words Helena said to me. How I better live it up now because soon I’ll be taking over and running my father’s empire.

Just thinking of my future when it comes to my father’s business freaks me out. I don’t think I want that.

But maybe Caleb’s right. I don’t have a choice.

It’ll just…

Happen.

Fourteen

Hayden

I hang out in the quad in front of the library on purpose, hoping for a glimpse of Tony and his football friends. Does this make me a pathetic, wannabe groupie?

Maybe.

Do I care, since it’s not necessarily obvious that’s what I’m doing?

Nope.

At least Gracie is with me. We’re sitting at a bench table, our books spread out in front of us, enjoying the abnormally warm—well, maybe not so abnormal for around here—fall day. The sun is shining, and it’s intense. Thankfully, there’s also an occasional breeze, which brings relief.

“You look good,” Gracie says.

I glance up to find her watching me. “Thank you?”

“Why do you say it like a question?”

“You’re the one who helped pick out my outfit,” I remind her.

High waisted jeans, white Nikes, tight-fitting black long-sleeved shirt that’s cropped, revealing a little sliver of belly. Delicate silver rings on my fingers, big silver hoops in my ears, my hair perfectly straight and parted in the middle like the Gen Z girl I am. It’s a look I’m liking a lot.

Will Tony like it too? Not sure. Will I actually get to see him today?

Also not sure. But I’m hopeful.

So hopeful.

“Yeah, and you look hot.” Gracie sighs. Shakes her head. She actually seems disappointed in me. “I don’t know why you can’t just text this dude and ask him to meet you somewhere. We’ve already been out here for over an hour.”

“And hasn’t it been productive? We got a lot of homework done. Plus, I bought you Starbucks.” I point at her mostly empty cup.

“I’d rather have Dutch Bros.” She mock pouts.

“Sorry, my precious princess. Can’t have it all I guess.” I shrug, vaguely annoyed. Doesn’t she remember all the schemes I’ve helped her with to get the attention of a boy she was interested in? They have been numerous over the years.

“Let’s get Dutch later.” Her eyes light up. Dutch Bros. is her favorite place to get coffee. She’s addicted. So am I. “And then we can grab Chipotle for dinner.”

“We are so basic, it’s pathetic,” I tell her, only half-serious.