Ah Gracie, only logical when she talks about someone else’s problems.
Then again, I guess I’m the same way too.
Twenty-One
Tony
The college football season is exhausting.
It’s mid-November and we’re still playing. Just like when we were in high school and we made the playoffs, which was every year I was on the varsity team. The Bulldogs have made the playoffs too. The difference is in the travel. While in high school, the farthest we went for an away game was three hours one way. In college?
We were in freaking Minnesota last week. This week, we play Hawaii at home. Next year, we’ll play in Hawaii.
Can’t wait.
We’re doing well, thanks to Ash’s leadership on the field. I ran in a touchdown against Minnesota last week. I got a mention on ESPN. Eli was jealous as hell, though he also kept saying how cool it was. Jake called on Sunday to congratulate me.
It felt good. Everyone else usually gets the accolades. I’m the dude in the background getting the job done. Now I’m getting some attention, and not gonna lie…
It’s awesome.
More girls are interested. They approach me on campus. In class. After practice. And always after a game. I’m polite, but never too friendly. I have zero interest in them. I’m too busy thinking about that pretty blonde who’s invaded my life.
Hayden and I have been seeing each other regularly. And if we don’t actually see each other, we talk every day. The problem? I don’t know what to call us. I don’t refer to her as my girlfriend and she doesn’t say I’m her boyfriend. Not that anyone’s asked but…
I sort of want a label. Which is stupid and goes against everything I’ve said before about relationships. I still feel the same way about them. Mostly. They’re for suckers. Someone always gets hurt. Long term rarely works. Everything between us is pretty great right now, but is that going to last?
Damn. I’m such a pessimist. I need to learn how to enjoy the here and now.
&
nbsp; Though I see why people get sucked into this kind of thing. Why they believe it’ll work. I get it now. Hayden makes everything so damn easy, and when I was with Sophie, yeah we had a good time, but at the end, it turned into a struggle. She didn’t want to make time for me, and that would make me mad. More like it hurt my feelings. I look back on it now and we weren’t the greatest match. Her family wanted her to focus on her dancing, and I get why. She was amazing. She didn’t have time for me.
And that made me feel unwanted. Unloved. I’ve had enough experience with that with my parents. I didn’t need my girlfriend to treat me like that too. So I gave up on her, on us, before things became even more complicated.
Hayden and I are both pretty busy, but we also make the time to see each other as best we can. As the fall semester winds down, her project load increases. She’s got all sorts of group projects and presentations to give. While I’m practicing constantly and keeping up with my gen ed classes. Between all of that, we don’t see each other as often as I’d like.
Though I’ll say this, when we are together, it’s fucking good. We hang out, we laugh, we watch movies, we go to dinner, we spend time with my friends, Gracie is usually included, and we always end up having mind-blowing sex.
Mind. Blowing.
It gets better between us every time. Like, every single time. So why wouldn’t I ask her to be my girlfriend? I know she’s anti-relationship. Supposedly, so am I. But I like this girl. A lot.
I don’t know what to do.
We’re all out to dinner after practice, at a nearby Mexican restaurant that has the best chips and salsa I’ve ever had. It’s me, Caleb, Jackson, Eli and Diego, and we’re downing baskets of chips as if we’re all starving.
Which we sort of are.
I want to ask these idiots for relationship advice, but that also feels like I’m asking for trouble. And I don’t know if I’m fully prepared for the shit they’re about to give me.
That’s our favorite thing to do. Give each other shit. It’s always good-natured. Diego used to have a mean streak, but he’s really changed, thanks to becoming a dad. He’s a kinder person. I think Jos has something to do with that too. Besides him, Eli is the only other one who’s in a long-term relationship, and I don’t know if I can take him seriously. He’s a good dude, but he also loves to talk. And sometimes, he says a bunch of nonsense.
Jackson and Caleb? What the hell do they know about relationships?
Nothing.
I take a huge gulp from my water glass and tell myself I don’t need any advice. I’m winging it.