I glare at him. “Why are you trying to make this happen?”
“I’m not trying to make anything happen. I’m trying to have a man to man with you and reassure you that it’s okay to admit your feelings. It’s okay to want a relationship, my friend. Your life isn’t going to end if you have to fuck the same pussy every night,” Eli explains.
“If Ava heard you say that…” I arch a brow.
“She won’t. That’s the beauty of this conversation. It’s just between us. And besides, I’m trying to get on your level, so you understand what I’m saying.” Eli grins.
I don’t think this conversation is a laughing matter. “Being with one woman goes against everything I’ve been taught.”
Not that anyone actually taught me this. I just assumed it was the right path to take until I was expected to settle down. Live it up, play around, have a good time. That’s been my plan since I first discovered girls.
“And who exactly taught you this again? Because if you ask me, it’s nothing but a bunch of horseshit.” Eli smiles, and I can tell he’s trying to put on his Mr. Convincing act. “Come on, what’s the big deal? You and Gracie like each other. You seem compatible.”
“She hates me,” I mutter, though I know it’s not true. “She’s not interested in me like that.” I also know that’s not true either.
“She doesn’t hate you. That’s all sexual tension,” Eli says, like it’s no big deal. “Ava and I were the same way, you know. She didn’t like me. I was obsessed with her. All I could think about was getting a taste of that. A piece of that. It was never really about getting back at her brother, no matter what all you assholes thought.”
“Really?” I never believed that. I always figured Eli went after Ava because he wanted to piss off Jake—and fell in love with her in the process. “I thought you were just fucking with her because she’s a Callahan.”
“Her being a Callahan was the worst part. Felt like our chance was cursed from the beginning. But we made it work. We’re still making it work, even though sometimes it’s a struggle.” Eli’s expression darkens and he takes another drink from his beer.
“What do you mean?” I ask with a frown. “I thought you two were all cozy since she’s home for the summer.”
“We are. But she’s going back. I was hoping I could convince her to stay. Why can’t she just go to Fresno State? But she doesn’t want to leave her friends she’s made there. She likes it in San Diego.” Eli’s mouth twists, as if he just said a dirty word. “She was always dead set on leaving. Even after we got together, she warned me she would go to school somewhere else.”
“Why didn’t you follow her?”
“Because the Bulldog coaching staff persuaded me to come to Fresno State. And I’ve done great here—no complaints. I played under Ash Davis, and look at him now, kicking ass in the NFL. He taught me a lot during that one season. And I didn’t have the advantage of going to your high school and getting coached by Drew Callahan,” Eli says.
“He’s practically your father-in-law now.” I don’t want to hear a bunch of mopey, woe is me, you had a better shot than I did bullshit from Eli. The dude’s got it made.
“Yeah. He’s a good guy.” Eli smiles. “You know who else is a good guy? You are.” He points at me again. His mama must have never taught him that was rude. “Stop trying to act like a giant manwhore and go with your gut.”
“My gut is telling me to continue acting like a manwhore,” I tell him, my tone serious.
I mean, it sort of does. I don’t know what to do anymore. Be a manwhore and fuck everything in a skirt? Or calm down some and get a little more selective? That’s the route I thought I was taking. I’m not out to fuck every chick I meet anymore, but damn.
I’m starting to get real tired of just using my hand. I need some action from someone else, and I really want that someone else to be Gracie.
If she’s not interested though, I’ll move on.
I have to.
“Is it really though, Caleb? Because I see the way you watch Gracie,” Eli says.
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t take your eyes off of her. And don’t tell me when she said your kiss was nothing that it didn’t hurt. I saw the look on your face. Like you just got kicked in the balls,” Eli says.
Damn it, it did feel like she kicked me in
the balls when she said that. Girl is ruthless when she wants to be, and it feels like she’s constantly giving me a taste of my own medicine, which fucking sucks, let’s be real.
“I get the feeling that once we finally do it—” and hopefully we’re going to, “—I’ll be over this…whatever it is I’m feeling for her.”
“If you say so.” The doubt in his voice is one hundred percent maddening.
“I’m not interested in a relationship with her,” I say.