The Sophomore (College Years 2)

The music stops and the lights dim once more, but don’t go completely out. It’s still dark enough that you can’t make out much, but I’m close enough to the stage to see Jackson come out. He settles onto his throne like the king he is, his acoustic guitar in his lap. There’s a full band performing behind him tonight, which is a new addition, thanks to the tour he’s been on this summer.

A single spotlight shines upon his golden head and Jackson leans toward the lowered mic. “Good evening. My name is Jackson Rivers.”

The crowd screams.

“HAVE MY BABIES, JACKSON!”

That last bit is from Caleb.

Jackson grins and gives Caleb the finger. The crowd swivels their heads in unison, all of them glaring at Caleb, who only smiles and waves in return.

“My friends are here tonight, so I have to make this performance extra special, don’t you think?” The crowd responds with enthusiastic cheers, my friend group especially. “Okay, let’s do it.”

He launches into a Nirvana song. They’re his all-time favorite band, which would be incredibly cliché if it wasn’t so genuine. He loves Kurt Cobain. He loves all the grunge bands from the nineties. He wants a grunge revival, wants to bring that type of music back but with a new spin on it, and I told him he could do it. He can do anything he sets his mind to.

I believe in him that much.

His set goes on for ninety minutes, playing a combination of original songs along with plenty of covers, and all of those he makes his own. It’s so good. He’s so good. His smooth, sexy voice. The full band backing him only accentuates his talent and—

I’m gushing. Even if it’s in my own head, I can tell I’m going on and on and I need to chill the hell out.

He ends the set with the song they played over the sound system before the concert started. Only You. As he’s building up to the chorus, he sweeps his gaze over the crowd before it settles on me.

Just me.

His lips curve upward and he leans in closer to the mic, his lips brushing it as he sings the chorus, then launches into the second verse. His gaze never leaves mine as he croons.

Finally got you in my bed

Not sure why it took me so long

Since you’ve been living in my head

Before I started writing this song

Everything inside of me melts, despite the fact that I know this song isn’t about me. He hasn’t got me in his bed—not even close. But the way he looks at me in this moment, as if he’s singing this song just to me, makes me wish he had.

I glance to my left to see Ava watching me with a knowing look on her face, though I can see the concern in her eyes too. I can only smile weakly at her in return, too giddy to worry about what she thinks. I’m too busy having a total moment of realization.

It feels like Jackson is finally seeing me. Really seeing me for the first time.

My entire body buzzes with excitement at the thought. There’s an afterparty tonight. Eli is hosting it at their apartment. Maybe something will…happen between Jackson and me. Something real. Something magical.

A girl can only hope.

The song ends and Jackson grins while the crowd cheers uncontrollably. I glance around, spotting girls with tears streaming down their faces as they scream their heads off for him, and I’m blown away. He’s touched so many. I wonder if he can see it. The power he wields over people with his performance, his songs, his words, his smiles.

Oh God, the smiles.

“Good night,” he says into the mic, and the lights fade, shrouding him in complete darkness. The concert is over.

The girls are still going wild.

“Let’s go backstage and talk to him,” Eli yells at us over the screams. “He told me our names are on a list.”

I nod eagerly, a different kind of anticipation thrumming in my veins, in my head. The excitement of finally getting to see Jackson in the flesh is making me anxious.

Nervous.