The Sophomore (College Years 2)

“It’s okay if that’s the case,” I continue since Ava hasn’t responded. “I can move on. Eventually.”

“Yeah, I know you can,” she says softly, her eyes glowing. “You’re such a good person, Ellie. And you have such a big heart. If Jackson can’t see your worth, another guy will, and he’ll give you the proper treatment you deserve.”

“I know. You’re right. Thank you.” We hug again. Her words are reassuring. They make me a feel a little better. Though deep down inside…

All I want is Jackson.

We arrive at Strummers thirty minutes before they open the doors. The line is wrapped around the building, nothing but teenaged girls as far as the eye can see. I rode over to Strummers with Eli and Ava, feeling like a complete third wheel. They are all over each other, Eli acting like he can’t take his eyes or hands off of her, and by the time we’re out of the car and headed for the venue, I’m walking far ahead of them so I don’t have to witness their slightly sickening display of affection toward each other.

It’s definitely a me problem and not a them problem, that’s for sure.

I spot Diego, Jocelyn, Gracie, Hayden, Tony and Caleb already standing in line, and I rush toward them, laughing with Gracie and Hayden as they wrap me up in a group hug.

“We haven’t seen you in forever!” Hayden says, squeezing me extra hard. “Are you avoiding us?”

I am going to miss them so badly. I don’t want to end our friendship, and I won’t. But I’m definitely going to keep them at arm’s length for a little bit while I work on getting over Jackson.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I tell them both with a smile. “I’ve just been really busy. Working a lot.”

“God, I know. School is such a grind,” Gracie says, rolling her eyes. “I’m ready to graduate.”

“G, we have two more years,” Hayden reminds her. “Well, a little less than that, but still. Buckle down, babe. We’ve got a long way to go.”

We talk about school. Classes. Tony joins our conversation, wrapping his arms around Hayden from behind and holding her close. Eli and Ava arrive long minutes later, which makes me wonder what they were up to. Probably making out. Now they’re hanging all over each other and everyone greets them enthusiastically, especially Ava. Caleb hangs back from the group, on the complete opposite side from where Gracie’s standing, and I wonder if those two have had another spat.

I feel for them. I really, really do.

Once the doors open, it’s a mad rush to get inside. Normally by this point in the night, I’d be texting Jackson, wishing him luck. Gushing over his potential performance and reassuring him that he’s going to do great. But I do none of that. I don’t text him at all, because damn it, I want him to miss me.

I want him to miss me so badly, he’ll realize he needs me in his life after all.

The inside of Strummers is jam-packed with people. Jackson is the main attraction tonight. There’s a band opening before him, and I feel sorry for them. These girls aren’t here to see them. They’re all Jackson Rivers’ fangirls, just like I used to be.

Used to be. Ha.

Still am.

Caleb worms his way through the crowd of overexcited females, indicating that we should all follow after him. We make a human chain, linking hands as we move through the thick clusters of people, trying to get closer to the stage. There’s no advanced admission tickets at this place. It’s first come, first serve and the floor is open. This is where I’m grateful for the big football players in our group. They just push their way through the crowd, Caleb always being the most aggressive of the bunch.

We’re closer to the stage, but there are still a few rows of people ahead of us. The lights go down, girls start screaming, and when the curtains lift, a band is on stage. All of them young, baby-faced cuties.

The girls start shrieking as soon as they launch into a fast-paced song.

“Who are these guys?” Ava shouts into my ear.

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“They’re Cupid’s Bow,” Gracie yells at us with a big grin on her face. “Aren’t they adorable? They came up with the name because one of their moms told them they look like a group of cherubs, since they have such pretty faces.”

I want to roll my eyes, but I keep myself in check. I pay close attention, the way they smile out at the crowd, pointing and winking at girls. Making it seem like they’re singing at one girl in a particular. There are two guitarists and a bassist, and they’re not bad. Their voices are a little shaky, but I’ve heard worse. And their enthusiasm makes up for any lack of skill. They look like they’re truly enjoying themselves. And from all the incessant screaming, I’d guess the majority of the audience enjoys them too.

Hmm, maybe they all aren’t here just for Jackson. Maybe this band is attracting a bunch of groupies too. Smart to put them together.

The set goes on for ov

er a half hour and it’s continuous teeny bop sounding rock music. I could easily imagine these guys on the radio. I find myself moving to the music. Gracie and I dance around each other in circles, laughing as Gracie sings along with the chorus. Someone is clearly a fan.

This is what I love about Gracie. She embraces everything and everyone. She’s interested in all sorts of different things, and she’s open to everyone. She’s not afraid to say what she feels either.