The Senior (College Years 4)

“Well, I do,” Autumn says, not missing a beat. “Little prick. He can’t just throw ultimatums at you like that and expect you to give up your life for him! Who the hell does he think he is?”

“Autumn—” Mom says again, but my sister gives her a death glare, which makes Mom go quiet.

“Please don’t tell me you think Eli isn’t in the wrong,” she says, sounding hostile.

“Of course I think Eli is in the wrong,” Mom retorts, “but you can’t just storm into his apartment and hold a knife to his throat.”

“I wouldn’t use a knife at first.” Autumn stands up straighter, her expression turning downright haughty. “I’d knee him in the balls to disarm him. Then I’d pull out my knife.”

She probably would. Our father gave both me and Autumn a pocket knife when we first moved out. Along with mace and a keychain whistle. All the things dads can give their daughters to protect themselves once they’re on their own.

“You’re not going to knife my ex-boyfriend,” I

say, my tongue tumbling over the word ex. “Showing up on his doorstep makes him think we care.”

“Oh, I care,” she says vehemently. “I care enough to want to do bodily harm to him for hurting you and breaking your heart.”

I give her another hug because she deserves it. Her fierce loyalty makes me feel a tiny bit better. “We need to ignore him. Giving him a reaction is what he wants. He’s probably dying right now to know what I’m feeling. What I’m doing. Well, forget him.”

“Yeah, forget him,” Autumn says in agreement.

It’s a lot easier than it sounds though.

How can I forget the boy who owns my heart?

One

Eli

Fall

“You can’t make me go to that ceremony,” I say with all the confidence I can muster. I want to believe no one can make me go, but deep down, I know the truth.

Our coaches—hell, my entire team is going to make me go to that special ceremony being held tonight before the game starts. The one where Fresno State is honoring Asher Davis by retiring his number. His entire family will be there, and when I say his entire family, I really mean the one family who took him in when he needed support back in the day. The people he considers his family now.

The Callahans.

“You’re going to that ceremony,” Tony says, his steady voice doing nothing to calm me down whatsoever. “You don’t have a choice. Our coaches will kill you. Plus, you should be there just to support Ash. He taught you a lot when you were a baby freshman, or have you forgotten that?”

Fuck, he did. Asher Davis is a true homie. Heck, at one point, I thought he was going to be my brother-in-law.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

We’re chilling at my apartment before we head to the field. Diego and Tony showed up bright and early this morning with donuts for all of us. Not the breakfast of champions but fuck it.

That’s been my attitude for months. Fuck it.

Fuck. It.

“It won’t be so bad,” Diego says with an actual smile on his face. Like he truly believes what he’s saying. “We’ll be together, and we’ve got your back. Not like Drew Callahan’s going to kick your ass out on the field for breaking his daughter’s heart.”

I tamp down the fury that fills me at Diego’s words as Tony sends him an exasperated look.

“Jesus, D. Shut the hell up,” Tony growls.

I say nothing, which is killing me, but damn. I refuse to say something I’ll regret. I’ve done enough of that to last me a couple of lifetimes.

I need these guys. I need their support. They’re all I’ve got. I blew the one thing that was good in my life and it’s like I can’t get her back. We’ve cut each other off completely.