But I’m not going to his apartment to cause trouble or start a fight. That’s not cool. I can restrain myself.
Somewhat.
I go back to my place and get ready. Caleb and I still live together. We found a smaller two-bedroom apartment that’s farther away from campus, but we don’t mind. It’s quieter, the complex is newer and we both get covered parking. A total score when it comes to apartment-living near campus.
Caleb’s already at Tony’s with Gracie, but I had to come home to take another, longer shower and pick out something to wear. Something that’ll make Ava regret every decision she’s ever made in her life in regards to me.
Namely, that she let me go.
I soap everything up, so I’m as clean as a fucking daisy. Contemplate jerking off but quickly find I’m not in the mood. Once I’m out of the shower, I dry myself thoroughly and pull on a pair of black boxer briefs—Versace baby. I’m a brand whore and I’m over the flashy printed boxers of my youth.
I’m a dignified motherfucker now, don’t you know.
Wiping the condensation off the bathroom mirror, I turn my face this way and that, noting the stubble covering my jaw. Should I shave?
Nah. Not like I’ll be kissing anyone tonight. Besides, some girls like it.
My girl used to like it. But she’s not my girl any longer.
Irritated, I pull on my favorite jeans. Slip a light gray Henley on, liking how it clings to my arms, showing off my biceps. The broadness of my chest. I’ve filled out a lot over the last year. Been conditioning like crazy, building muscle on muscle and bulking myself up for the season. I feel stronger than I ever have.
I am on top of my game.
Personally, I’m in the fucking toilet, but I push all of those shitty thoughts aside and focus on the fact that I’m going to strut into Tony and Hayden’s apartment looking like top fucking dog. I’ll make Ava swallow her damn tongue when she sees me.
What sucks is when I strut into Tony’s place fifteen minutes later, no one notices me. Especially not Ava, who’s tucked into a corner in the tiny dining room with her back against the wall, surrounded by Gracie, Hayden and Jocelyn.
I send the group a withering stare, despite not a one of them paying attention and saunter into the kitchen, smiling when my friends cheer upon seeing me.
The smile feels fake though. And my shoulders are practically hunched up to my ears, I’m so stressed out.
“You made it.” Caleb approaches and we execute our newest handshake. “I thought you were going to bail.”
I frown. “Why would you think that?”
“Because of you know who.” He tips his beer bottle in the direction of the group of women sitting not too far away from us before taking a swig. “More people should be here soon, though. That’ll help.”
I glance around the cramped kitchen. “How many more people can we fit in this place?”
“It’ll be wall-to-wall baby.” Caleb grins, and I can tell he’s pleased when Diego approaches with a fresh beer for me. “Drink up. Get some liquid courage.”
“I don’t need it,” I say nonchalantly, just before I take a giant swig.
And end up draining half of it in one go.
“Uh huh,” Caleb drawls, a knowing gleam in his eye. He leans in close, his gaze intense as he murmurs, “She’s all tore up over you giving her the finger out on the field.”
I want to laugh. Such a juvenile move on my part, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. “Seriously?”
Caleb nods. “She complained about you to Gracie. Who then, naturally, told me all about it.”
“You guys share everything, huh?”
“We don’t keep secrets from each other.” His expression turns solemn, all traces of his earlier grin gone. “Though I probably shouldn’t have told you that about Ava.”
I want to roll my eyes, but I say nothing. He already explained that earlier. Everyone pussy foots around us, and I suppose I can’t blame them. We’re the first in the friend group to break up—it was bound to happen, but I sure as hell didn’t think it would happen to me.
People are already careful around me. I can be explosive. I can’t help it that my emotions are always just right there, ready to spill out all over the place. I feel everything, and I don’t hold back.