“Have you heard from him?”
I shake my head.
Her expression turns sour. “He’s the worst. Seriously. He can’t even text you?”
“We’ve blocked each other in every way you can think of. He has no way of getting a hold of me,” I explain, feeling stupid.
“And how old are we again? This is some early high school shit if you ask me.” Ellie hops to her feet and starts wandering around my room, dropping down to go through a pile of old flannel shirts I don’t want anymore. She glances up at me. “Do you care if I take some of these?”
“Have at them,” I tell her. “You can take whatever you want.”
She starts making her own stack of clothes. “I have good news about Halloween.”
I appreciate her change of topic. I really don’t want to rehash what Eli and I did. And how he reacted afterward. What’s done is done. I can’t change any of it, and while I regret the conversation afterward, I don’t regret us having sex. I’ve missed him. His body, his mouth, his words, being close with him, having him in a way that no one else ever does.
“What do you mean?” I ask, when I realize Ellie is waiting for me to say something.
“Jackson rented a cabin on the lake.” She grins. “And wait until you see it.”
“Pretty nice?” I raise a brow.
Ellie rises to her feet. “It’s huge. Three stories with two giant wraparound decks that face the lake. It’s been recently remodeled, right down to the studs, whatever that means. And we’re having a massive costume party there Friday night.”
She’s grinning from ear to ear, she looks so pleased with her announcement, and while I bet the house is amazing, and the party will be fun, I don’t know if I want to go.
Okay, for real? I really don’t want to go.
“Sounds fun.” I fake it for my friend’s benefit, since she seems so excited. But I’m sure Eli will be there, and he is the last person I want to see. “I’ll probably have to pass.”
“Oh come on, Ava.” Ellie’s face falls and she puts her clasped hands up in front of her chest. “Don’t say that. I want you there. We’ll have so much fun. We can decorate the house all scary and wear funny costumes and get shit-faced drunk. It’ll be everything we wanted to do in high school, only we’re older, and we can get away with it now.”
That does sound like a good time. I wouldn’t mind getting shit-faced, just to forget my troubles. I’m always down for a costume party, since Halloween is one of my favorite times of year. I’d have a blast helping her decorate the house.
“Jackson was able to convince the homeowners that it was cool if a rock star had a party at their place? They really don’t mind?” I ask.
“Money talks,” Ellie says. “Seriously, I think he paid an outrageous amount to rent it, plus the deposit. But Jackson told me it wasn’t about the money. He just wanted us to have a good time—and he knew this would make me happy.”
Oh swoon. With a hint of gag. They’re total relationship goals while I’m totally single.
“You two are adorable,” I say with a sigh.
“You think we’re gross,” Ellie says with a laugh. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re fine.” I smile at her. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
“I wish you were happy, though,” Ellie says, her voice small. “That’s all I want for you, Ava. And I feel like he destroys your happiness every time
you see him.”
“Is he going to be invited to this party?” I love how neither of us say his name.
“I can’t tell Jackson he’s not invited,” she admits, sinking her teeth into her lower lip. “Though I wish I could. But Eli is his best friend. He loves that guy with his whole heart.”
“Then maybe I shouldn’t go,” I say. I go to the dresser and pick up the envelope, contemplating what I’m going to do before I turn to her and stretch my hand out, the envelope clasped in my fingers. “Can you give this to Jackson to give to Eli?”
Ellie frowns. “What is it?”
“Just take it.” I wave the envelope at her and she snatches it from my fingers. “Open it. Look at it. I don’t care.”