The Senior (College Years 4)

I frown, tilting my head to the side. “What?”

“I asked, how are you? How are you dealing with all of—this?” He waves a hand around, seeming at a loss of what to do.

A ragged breath leaves me and I glance down at the ground for a moment, overwhelmed by his question. I’ve been so focused on Ava all day, it’s hitting me that no one has really asked how I’m doing.

And that’s cool. I’m fine with it. Ava’s the one who’s been through so much.

Not me.

“I’m—I’m sad, but it’s okay.” I lift my head to find him watching me. “I’m just glad Ava’s all right.”

“She is. She will be. She’s strong.” Drew’s smile is faint. “Like her mother.”

“Yeah,” I croak, hating how tore up I suddenly feel. “I was really excited about the baby.”

“Ava mentioned that.” Drew steps closer, settling his hand on my shoulder. “You’re going to make a great dad someday, Eli.”

Oh damn. My eyes are stinging and I shake my head once, trying to rid myself of the urge to cry. I need to keep it together in front of this man and not sob like a wimp.

“Thanks,” I tell him, my voice rough. “I hope you’re not—mad at me. For what happened.”

“Why would I be mad at you? It’s not your fault,” Drew says, his voice low. “Just—take care of my daughter and love her as much as you possibly can, okay? That’s all I want.”

I nod, unable to look at him, surprise coursing through me when he tugs me into his arms and gives me a hug. I hug him back, in shock.

His words, his offer of comfort reassures me though. That he doesn’t hate me.

That he loves me like I’m a member of his own family.

And it feels good, to be okay with the Callahans again.

Well, with the exception of Jake. I’ll have to work extra hard to win that guy over. Autumn might want to kick my ass too.

It’s all right. I’ll figure it out.

I don’t really remember the drive home. And when I walk into my empty apartment, I wish I could’ve brought Ava with me. But she needs to rest, and she needs to stay at her parents’ house, in her own bed. She’s going to remain there for a while, until we get our shit straight and figure out what the hell we’re doing next.

And where we’re going.

Even though I’m tired, I’m somehow full of restless energy and I decide to clean my room. I make the bed and gather up the clothes strewn everywhere, tossing them in the hamper that’s in my closet. I throw away some old receipts then come across the box containing the ring I bought Ava yesterday and pop it open.

A two-carat round diamond in a simple platinum setting. It’s beautiful, like Ava. I can’t wait to give it to her.

Someday.

Soon.

I straighten up the disaster that is my desk, cramming shit in the drawers that are already full of miscellaneous crap. Gather up my notebook and textbooks and shove them in my backpack so I’m ready for school tomorrow. Come across a bag from the student store that’s stashed at the bottom of my backpack and I crack the bag open, momentarily forgetting what I bought there.

Until I see the red fabric.

I pull it out, staring at the tiny onesie, checking the size. Zero to three months.

I hold it in my hands, trying to imagine a baby filling it.

Man, that’s tiny.

The tears start then. Flowing down my cheeks as I crumple the onesie in my hands and tell myself to man up. Don’t cry. I never cry. I have to be the strong one here. For Ava.