“This is stupid,” Carson said.
My head snapped toward him. Of all the people to come to my rescue, I did not expect it to be him.
“Is it?” Ethan asked. “Because isn’t this how you play? Mia picked dare, so I dared her to kiss me. What’s the problem? Unless, of course, you don’t want me to.”
Next to me, Maddie rested her chin in her hand, eyes bright, grinning like she was watching a new episode of Stranger Things, while Drake snickered.
Carson’s mouth flattened into a thin line before he opened his mouth and said, “Why would I care—”
“I don’t feel well,” I said, jumping up. “I’m done. You guys finish without me.”
It wasn’t the most graceful exit as I stumbled over people’s feet, unable to get out of the room fast enough. Behind me, they booed and moaned. I think I even heard someone call me a cry baby, which was really just great. First, I’m labeled a psycho after my incident with Carson in gym class, and now everyone will think I’m a total wimp.
“You know what? I don’t even care,” I mumbled to myself as I stepped inside the kitchen, pacing like a caged tiger.
I rounded the island and leaned back on it, glad to be alone for a minute. Even though I tried to make sense of what just happened, I couldn’t. My head pounded from the effort, or maybe it was the alcohol. First, Ethan admitted he had a crush on me, even though he claimed it was when we were little. Then, Carson said he wanted to kiss me after his epic lip lock with Olivia. Though I’m pretty sure that was all a part of his master plan to annihilate me once and for all, and then Ethan asked me to kiss him. What. The. Heck.
This evening almost made me wish I had stayed home. But after being grounded, other than to work on the Angel Program for the last two weeks, I was finally free, and the last thing I wanted to do was go back to my house when both of my parents would be home. As awful as this party was, I had no desire to play witness to the ensuing conflict of WWIII.
I was deliberating hiding in the bathroom as an alternative when someone entered the kitchen. I shoved my shoulders back and spun around, expecting Ethan.
But it wasn’t Ethan. It was Carson.
He stood in the entryway, hands in his pockets, head bowed.
Well, at least he had the decency to look sheepish.
I squared my shoulders and tipped my chin, ready for a fight. When he stepped closer, I couldn’t help myself as I asked, “Why’d you invite me here? Was it just to embarrass me? Because if that’s the case, then congratulations. You win.”
Carson exhaled and raked a hand through his thick brown hair. “I invited you because I wanted you here.”
“But why?”
“I wanted to see you. Outside of school. Outside of the Angel Tree stuff. But I didn’t think you’d bring Ethan. I mean, I guess I should’ve known. You guys do everything together, but. . .” He shrugged.
“What was that out there?” I asked, motioning toward the living room. It sounded like the others had continued without us, and I briefly wondered if Ethan was still playing along.
Carson rounded the island until he stood beside me. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
My hands fisted by my side until my fingernails dug into my palms. “You don’t know what I mean? Okay, how about when Olivia asked you, out of anyone in the room, who you’d kiss, and you said my name. What about that, huh? Was that just to make me feel stupid? So you could kiss me then make fun of me after? And what about the thing Jeremiah said about Brad Sousa? Then there was Ethan. All those questions and then you acted all—"
“Slow down.” Carson shifted to face me and placed a hand on each of my biceps. “Breathe,” he coaxed, and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a smile. “That was a lot of questions.
It was a lot of things to confuse me, I wanted to say, but instead, I remained silent, trying to ignore the heat of his palms burning into my skin.
“The thing Jer said?”
I nodded.
“You dated Brad Sousa your freshman year.”
Losing my patience, I scowled and said, “I know when I dated him. He asked me out, and we went on one date before he dumped me. He claimed it was him, not me, which everyone knows is code for it really is you; I just don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Carson laughed. “Or it was because I told him that you were secretly into girls and that you were just using him as a front so your parents didn’t find out.”
I gasped as the horror of what he just told me sunk in. “No,” I drawled.
He pursed his lips. “Guilty.”