Falling For My Nemesis
Page 52
My mouth dropped. Seriously? “How so?”
“Because I like her. You’ve always hated Carson and now all of a sudden you guys are best buds?”
Best buds? My thoughts drifted to our kiss, and I averted my gaze, unsure of how to respond because the way I felt about Carson had grown. It was big, beyond friendship, beyond anything I had ever felt before. My heart didn’t race when I saw Ethan like it did around Carson. A flock of butterflies didn’t threaten to riot when Ethan looked into my eyes. And my skin didn’t tingle when he touched me. Not like it did with his brother.
“We’re working on the Angel Program,” I said in a feeble voice. It was a crap excuse, and I knew it. Luigi’s, his meet, lunch, even hanging out the nights we organized the supplies, both ignoring the fact that we had been dragging it out for days, were far beyond the scope of the Angel Program.
“Okay.” Ethan scoffed, his tone bitter. “The least you could do is be straight with me.”
Frustrated, I curled my nails into my palms. “Why does it matter, anyway? We’ve always had other friends. We’ve dated, too. Why does my spending time with someone else matter now?”
“Because, Mia, isn’t it obvious? He’s my brother. Mr. Life of the Party, swim-star. You guys always hated each other. And you were always the one thing he wanted that was mine.”
I flinched, and my stomach crumpled in on itself. “So you’ve been friends with me this whole time because I hated Carson? Because I was something he couldn’t have?” I shook my head, trying to understand. “What’re you even saying?”
“No, course not.” Ethan stood and started to pace, kicking a dirty pair off gym shorts on his bedroom floor before he turned toward me. He closed his eyes and exhaled, then opened them again, staring into my eyes. “It’s just. I always liked that it was you and me, ya know? I mean, sure, we have other friends. We’ve dated, but. . .I don’t know. Everything feels like it’s changing now.”
“It is. We’re older. I’ll be going to school soon. But just because I realize Carson is different than I thought, that maybe he’s not the bad guy I thought he was, doesn’t mean things with us have to change. Aren’t you the one all these years that’s been telling me he wasn’t so bad? To give him a chance?”
“Yeah, but I never thought you’d actually listen,” he muttered. He reached up, clasping his hands behind his neck. “But now. . .”
“What?”
“You like him, right? Like, really like him.” He searched my expression for the truth, his gaze earnest.
A part of me was afraid of what he’d see. “I. . .I don’t know,” I stammered.
But I did know. I absolutely knew. I was just afraid to admit it. For some reason, telling Ethan the truth felt like a betrayal.
“Mia. . .”
“Maybe?” I said like it was a question.
He swallowed, then glanced away for a moment. “It just feels weird. I’ve been hanging out with Beth more, and you’re starting to like Carson. Both of you will be leaving at the end of the summer, and I’ll still be here. . .” he trailed off, staring at something on the wall opposite him.
I let him process his thoughts because he was right. A lot was changing. If anyone knew that, it was me. All I had to do was spend an afternoon at home to realize just how much things had changed. And it frightened me too, but I couldn’t just ignore it.
“I see the way he looks at you,” Ethan muttered.
My head whipped toward him, my heart in my throat. “What do you mean?”
Ethan rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mia. It’s not even the kiss on the cheek he purposely did to annoy me. It’s the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Like you’re the best thing in the room, the same way he’s looked at you for years. He’s liked you since the day you met at the beach. But you were always mine. My friend. Right from the start.”
I swallowed. Hard. My mouth went dry. “I can be both,” I said, leaving the insinuation hanging between us—both Carson’s girl and your best friend.
“What if it’s supposed to be us?”
I blinked. “Us?” A weird feeling shimmied down my spine.
Ethan nodded, his mouth set. His expression was more serious than I’d ever seen it. Reaching out, he slid a hand to the base of my neck, and I froze.
“Ethan. . .?”
“Have you ever thought about us being together? Before today I never really did, but when I saw you with Carson the other day, it made me think. You’ve been my best friend for nine years. All this time, you’ve been the one there for me. We’ve shared everything together. It’s always been us. What if it’s supposed to be us now?”
I wanted to shake my head, No, to talk some sense into him. But what happened next was so fast I couldn’t stop it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN