I flopped onto my bed and laid there, staring at the little plastic bulbs hanging from the artificial pine. I finally got my wish for silence, and now that I had it, it was ominous—the resounding death knell of my parent’s marriage and our life together as a family.
Unable to take it any longer, I got up, grabbed my phone and jacket, and headed for my car. I drove to the beach and parked in one of the public beach access parking lots. In the summer, these spots were like gold, but in late December, there wasn’t a car in sight.
I made my way up the old, wooden planked path, over the giant dunes, and toward the beach. The sound of the waves greeted me before the sight of the vast blue. But once I crested the stairs, the dark waters greeted me. Foamy whitecaps crashed to shore in a familiar and soothing cadence, and I knew from experience the dark waters would be cold as ice.
I watched for a moment, pushing my thoughts aside and letting the ocean soothe me before I descended the stairs and made my way toward the shoreline, my Converse chucks sinking into the damp sand the whole way.
I stood until the toes of my shoes were just far enough away from the water’s edge, not to risk getting soaked. I don’t know how long I stared out into the horizon before the dam on my thoughts broke, but once it did, everything came crashing in like a high tide.
My parent’s marriage was over.
I got rejected from UNC.
I still haven’t heard from Duke, but it was probably a “no.”
Carson was avoiding me.
Soon, high school would be over, and where would I be?
All these things and more flooded my brain.
Not having any answers scared me, maybe more than anything. But one thing was clear. Nothing would ever be the same again.
???
After some time, I turned and made my way up the beach, then realized with a start that I wasn’t alone. Sometime during my mini breakdown, a small group of people had started a bonfire.
I watched as several guys lugged coolers onto the beach, and they began collecting driftwood for a fire. Then two girls ran down the dunes, and I recognized them—Tasha and Olivia. Not exactly the people I felt like running into.
The familiar peel of Olivia’s laughter drifted toward me, a warning that if I didn’t want to be seen, I’d better hurry and get off the beach while they were distracted with setting up what was clearly going to be a small beach party. But it was too late because her eyes locked on mine just as I started for the stairs.
“Guys, it’s Mia,” Olivia announced.
I froze, sighing inwardly as I glanced over at them with a smile and a half-hearted wave.
When she called me over, I hesitated, but ultimately, I went because it wasn’t like I could ignore them. Turning back, I trudged through the sand toward them and came to a stop in front of Olivia, who looked far better in a baggy hoodie and skinny jeans than anyone had a right to.
“Hey, having a party?” I asked, hoping I could make a minute of small talk and then bail.
“Yeah,” Olivia said. “Wanna stay a minute and hang?”
“I can’t,” I said, more grateful than ever I had a convenient excuse to leave. I hooked a thumb back toward the walkway. “I’ve got to deliver the packages for the Angel Program. I’m actually meeting Carson in a few minutes, so I have to get going.”
“Carson?” Olivia scrunched her nose, and I wanted to tell her it was unattractive
“Yeah. Remember? It was our remediation project.”
“No, I know that, but it’s just. . .” She grinned, and something vicious glinted in her eye—sharp and lethal—a warning for me to brace myself. “I ran into Carson this morning. He was at the pool swimming, and I saw him in the lot on his way out. We went to lunch, and then I invited him to the party. He said he’d come.” Olivia shrugged and reached out, placing a hand on my arm, her smile saccharine. “Looks like you’ll be delivering packages alone.”
So, that’s where he was this morning. When he was supposed to be grocery shopping with me for the Angel families, he was out with Olivia. Nice. I wonder where he was yesterday when I met with Mrs. Parks too.
I fisted my hands at my side, letting the information wash over me. “I’m sure he’ll be there. He probably just meant he was stopping by after,” I said, trying to save face. “He wouldn’t do that to me—leave me to everything alone.”
Olivia gasped theatrically, covering her mouth with one hand, then reached out again to squeeze my arm. “Oh, honey. That’s so sweet. You think he cares about you, don’t you?”
I clenched my teeth, saying nothing.
“I’m sorry, but maybe you shouldn’t reach quite so high, you know. I’m your friend, so I want to be real with you. You’re nice, and cute and all, but guys like Carson, they go out with girls like me. I’d hate to see you get hurt. Just try to stay in your lane, hun.”