“My Abigail,” he said, his voice cracking. “My dear, dear Abigail. I was a fool. A young ambitious fool, who got caught up in a movement, and in the name of my country, I did terrible things. Things I’ve spent a lifetime trying to forget. I’ll probably never forgive myself for them, but I don’t know if I could bear it if you couldn’t. Please.” The tracks of his tears glistened as he expelled his grief.
Abby inhaled a ragged breath. In all her years, she had never seen any emotion from him, but his tears fell now, and the rubber band in her chest snapped. With a sigh, she leaned into him, clasping his brittle hands in hers, needing to reconnect with the person who taught her how to ride a bike, play chess, and swam with her in the pool on hot summer nights.
“I love you, Abby,” he murmured. As the words left his lips, his jaw trembled, a choking sound gurgling from his chest as his tears continued to fall.
He pulled her in for a hug, curling his bony arms around her. “And I loved GG, more than anything, and your mother. If I could trade places with any of those people I harmed so long ago, I would. In a heartbeat, I’d pay the price for my sins, but life doesn’t work like that. There are no do-overs. And so, I understand if you can’t keep this to yourself.”
He pulled away from her, looking her in the eye, and Abby willed herself to remain calm, to hold back her tears as he continued. “No matter how sorry I am, or how changed, I would understand if you can’t forgive me.”
Abby’s heart lurched in her chest, even as her head spun, setting her off-balance. “I love you, too, Grandpa,” she said, choking on the words—having no idea what to do with them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Five days ago, Abby had discovered the truth. Five days that felt like a lifetime, and the same length of time she had been successfully avoiding Kaden. But she knew her lucky streak was coming to an end. She couldn’t avoid him forever without some sort of explanation for why she suddenly broke things off. A confrontation was past due, yet she couldn’t bring herself to decide on how she would let Kaden down or what she should do about her grandfather. Both decisions were eating her alive. Both the secret and her promise to Mr. Oliver were killing her softly with her silence.
Abby exited fourth-period and made a beeline for the empty classroom she had used for study hall during lunch this week. Not only had she switched several of her classes around to avoid seeing Kaden, she had started taking lunch with a couple other students in the mostly empty room, where some of them received tutoring. All she had to do was tell Mr. Delgado she needed help—extra study time for math—and he took the steps necessary to change a few of her classes. She had been a good student until the last couple of weeks, with a great track record, so there was no reason not to help her out. Parents with a well-known, amazing reputation in the community didn’t hurt either.
All s
he had to do was carry most of her things with her, avoiding her locker despite her sixty-pound bookbag, and she had drastically reduced her chance of a run-in with Kaden. But as she left her environmental studies class and hurried to the open doorway for health, her luck ran out.
A hand curled over her shoulder, followed by the familiar sound of his voice. “Abby, wait.”
Pausing, she bit her lip and slowly turned to face him. Students brushed passed them in the hall, drawing her eye before she focused straight in front of her, on the broad plane of his chest.
“Yeah?” she asked, trying to sound casual when she felt anything but.
Her palms grew clammy in his presence, while her heart pummeled her chest in a punishing beat, hating herself for striking a deal with his father.
“What is going on? You haven’t been in class or at lunch. You’ve hardly been around at all.”
Abby stared at her feet, feeling the heat of his gaze on her face as he waited for her response.
“Uh, since I screwed up on so many things since this whole thing with GG, Mr. Delgado let me switch classes and take an extra study hall. It seems to be helping,” she said, a false note to her voice.
“Are you avoiding me?”
Abby snorted. “What? No. Of course not. Why would I do that?”
“It’s not the whole money thing, right? The stuff I told you the last time I saw you?”
Abby’s gaze darted to his at the question. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and she had to glance away again to avoid his wrecked expression.
She wanted to kick herself. How had she not realized that was what he would think? The last time they spoke, he confided in her about their financial trouble, and then she ditched him.
She hated that he entertained, for even a second, the notion that she would think poorly of him because of that after all her talk of not caring. But what reason had she given him to think otherwise?
“No. Of course, not. I just...” She paused and shook her head. “My mom found one of GG’s letters and freaked. On top of that, my grades have suffered. I’m basically in huge trouble at home, so I decided to take a break from the whole secret thing to keep my sanity. I need to focus on school and everything that’s important instead.”
“And I suppose that doesn’t include me, then. I get it.”
Abby blinked, her eyes growing blurry from tears. She swallowed over the lump in her throat. The silence between them said more than words. Still, she said nothing, allowing her fears to take hold. What if she said the wrong thing? What if her willpower dissolved and she stepped into his arms and kissed him instead of keeping the pretense she wanted nothing to do with him? She kept her mouth shut because it was best for him. Rip off the bandage fast.
But Kaden wasn’t having it. He stepped toward her, gripping her arms, and dipped his head so he could see into her eyes.
“Would you at least look at me? Abby, please.”
When she didn’t comply, he placed his fingers under her chin and tilted her head up to his. She squeezed her eyes shut, afraid to look in his eyes, afraid to see his pain in the face of her rejection because it mirrored her own.