My breath hitches as we just stare at each other, both of us catching our breath.
After a few long moments, he reaches for his boxers on the ground and cleans up the mess he made on me.
Then he grabs me close, pulls the sheet and comforter over us, and like always, is out within minutes.
And all I can feel is—WHAT?
How does he do that? How can he just fall asleep like nothing at all is unusual when we just— just—
I’m still pulsing between my legs. Even though his warmth is behind me now, the memory of him on top of me is still so fresh.
Again—WHAT?
He was upset about something when he came in, that was clear.
His words from earlier ring in my head. I need you tonight, beautiful. I’ve tried to fight it, I know it’s wrong, but today was just…I need you.
What happened today to set him off like that? And…he’s tried to fight it? So I’m not the only one who’s had these…feelings.
And sure he said they were wrong too, but what if maybe they aren’t. I mean, we aren’t really sister and brother.
Though even having the thought feels like a betrayal.
No—he is family. He is. He’s my brother.
But also my…lover?
Oh God this is so messed up.
I squeeze my eyes shut hard, sink back against Dominick, and try to sleep.
And somehow, sleep actually comes. I sleep hard. So hard in fact, that I don’t even wake up when sun starts streaming through my bedroom window.
No, I don’t wake up until there’s an angry voice shouting.
“What the hell is going on in here?”
Four
My eyes shoot open only to find Dad standing at the foot of the bed, looking back and forth between me and Dominick with clear shock on his face. Dad’s dressed in his usual Saturday attire, khakis and a polo shirt.
Oh my God. How late is it? I want to sink into the mattress and die. I jerk the blanket up around myself but still feel entirely exposed.
“Wait, Dad, I can explain,” Dominick starts, but Dad is around to his side of the bed in two strides. With no finesse, he jerks Dominick out of the bed and onto the hardwood floor. Dominick is a big man but his father is one of the few men I can imagine almost equaling him in size. Dominick doesn’t fight him either. He tumbles down and lands hard on his knees where he stays, completely naked, head bowed.
“I was the one who started coming to Sarah’s room,” Dominick says heatedly. “She did nothing wrong.”
“Is that why she’s clutching her blanket around herself in shame?” Dad eyes shoot between me where I huddle on the bed and Dom on the floor.
Tears start leaking out of my eyes at his harsh words. No, this isn’t supposed to happen. Everything was perfect. Then it got all screwed up. Dominick’s been upset for weeks and I haven’t pushed him to really talk about it. And if I’m honest with myself, there’s a reason I kept wearing such nothing scraps of clothing even when I knew there was a chance he’d sleep over. I’m not that naïve. And surely Dominick could feel how I wanted him. Men just know those things, right? Instead of addressing it, I let the tension between us build and build until it just exploded last night. And I hate the way Dad’s looking at Dom.
“No, Dad,” I sit up straighter, still clutching the blanket tight. “It’s all my fault.”
Dad’s beautiful green eyes flash, then darken as they settle on me. “Is that so? How do you figure?”
“I— I— Well, I—” I glance down helplessly at Dominick, but his eyes are still on the floor. I swallow hard and look back at Dad. No matter how much I want to run away and lock myself up in the bathroom—oh God, is this really happening? Please, please let me wake up and this just be a horrible nightmare—
But no, all my frenzied thoughts finally still. I wouldn’t really want that. Not if it meant giving up last night. I wouldn’t erase last night for anything.
I take a deep breath. “It’s my fault because I’ve been getting things confused sometimes. Having the two of you here has been,” I pause and hiccup because stupid tears choking up my throat make it too difficult to speak for a moment, “so amazing. I feel all kinds of intense feelings. I can’t always sort out what they mean. What Dominick and I—” I look down at Dominick and he finally looks up at me. “I can’t lose that.”
Dad’s voice finally softens. “You won’t, baby. But I won’t abide a household full of secrets. For that there will be punishment.”
I look up at Dad in confusion, but when Dominick gets up off the floor to stand beside the bed, he looks resigned.