Frank frowned at him. “You knew it wasn’t gonna last.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I needed to hear,” Shane growled and took a long swig of the cold beer.
“I’m sorry you don’t like the truth, but that’s life for guys like us. I was surprised he stuck around after the whole body disposal drama. Some things are good while they last and you have to accept them as a nice memory.”
“Oh, so you think you’re so smart, huh?” Shane snapped, breathing heavily as he regarded Frank from the other side of the table. “Not everyone needs to be miserable! He really liked me!”
Frank scratched his wide nose. “And then you tried to fuck him over. What do I know though? Go and get him back if you think you can, but judging by that black eye, I doubt you will.”
Frank meant well, but his words still felt like another stab into an already open wound. Shane grabbed what was left of the pie and stormed out without a word. It had been a mistake to come here. He should have just rotted away in the container until Jag found his corpse and—did whatever Jag did with dead bodies. It wouldn’t matter if Shane was dead.
Shane bit into the bourbon-infused filling and walked around the house, heading for the pen he and Frank had built for Cerberus at the back. The black beast rose to its hind legs as soon as he saw him and whined, wiggling his tail.
At least someone was happy to see Shane again. Maybe he hoped for more jerky.
His paw was still healing, and he wore a bright orange cast but seemed disinterested in getting it off. The treatment had consumed a large chunk of Shane’s cash, but as flustered as that had made him, each day of Cerberus’s recovery made him forget about such trivial things.
In a moment of sappiness, he took a picture of the dog cuddling up to his hand, but didn’t follow the urge to send it to Ros in the end. Was this really it? He’d shown his true colors, and Ros was now afraid of him. For good reason.
“What does Frank know, huh? He said you’d die, and here we are, healing well, right?”
Cerberus barked his yes, and Shane let him out of the pen, relieved that at least someone didn’t want to bring him down. He was fatigued after a whole night without sleep, but Cerberus needed a walk, and Shane didn’t want to go back to the house.
“Go on, boy, lead the way,” Shane said, shivering when wind snuck under his clothes. He should’ve gone back to pick up a jacket, but the prospect of seeing Frank again made his stubborn ass follow the black mutt instead.
Cerberus still had tender skin around his neck where the rope had dug in, so Shane had gotten him a harness to wear instead of a collar, but didn’t bother with it most of the time at the junkyard, because the beast stayed by his side anyway.
He didn’t even urge Cerberus in any particular direction and waited on the path until the dog decided something was worth sniffing or pissing on. The cold was his self-inflicted punishment for yesterday. He knew he’d done the wrong thing, and yet still sulked at being kicked and yelled at.
Spat at.
So he was an idiot and had very clearly proven how unworthy he was of the beautiful, kind Rosen Beck, but that didn’t mean he was okay with being apart from him. Still, whenever he looked at that last string of messages and considered reaching out, he couldn’t come up with anything meaningful to say. Because how was he to resume their conversation after imprisoning and assaulting Ros?
Sorry?
I didn’t mean to?
I’ve been a jerk?
Can we talk?
Even scum like him knew those weren’t appropriate openers after what had happened. He couldn’t justify taking Ros’s shirt back to him after being told to stay away.
Never .
Just the thought of never again plunging between Ros’s legs and seeing his lips tremble in ecstasy twisted Shane inside out. How could he not have seen the good thing he’d had in his grasp until he fucked up? Even though they’d barely met on Halloween, Ros had talked about a future together, one in which they wouldn’t have to stay in the closet. He’d been so excited and loving, and Shane had crushed his heart in return.
Cerberus pulled him out of the grim thoughts with a happy bark. He took one look back at Shane to make sure his human followed, and led the way off-path and between the dense piles of rusted junk.
“What are you sensing there, huh? A rabbit nest?” Shane mumbled, following him as the sun came out from behind the dense clouds and reflected into his eyes off a bunch of broken bottles.