The boy blinked and hid his face from view by pressing his cheek to the side of Shane’s head. “I’m so sorry. It feels like my current struggle’s nothing in comparison, but I still can’t help feeling sorry for myself. I just feel so alone in all this.”
It felt so good. As if he’d become Ros’s safe haven, and he wasn’t about to mess it up with more of his own dirt. “We’re not comparing wounds here. And you don’t have to be alone,” Shane whispered, pulling Ros’s hand to his chest. It was meant to comfort the boy but made his own head spin instead.
Ros’s lips trembled when he pulled away just enough to look into Shane’s eyes. “I feel like such a dumbass for wanting you after what happened. You hurt me so much, but you’re the only one I feel safe with.”
Shane’s heart throbbed with warmth incomparable to anything he’d ever experienced, but as he was about to lean in for a kiss, the dampness shining in Ros’s eyes made him stall.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this, but the prospect of taking a shortcut back into Ros’s arms after the shit he’d pulled on him seemed like the wrong choice. So he’d be good, and supportive, and earn back his affection the hard way. “You’re right. I proved I’m not someone worthy of trust. But I’ll show you I’ve changed,” he added with more force.
Ros leaned in until his face was barely an inch away, and blew hot air at Shane’s cheek when he spoke. “Will you let me get to know the real you? One step at a time.”
Shane’s breath caught, and he stroked the backs of his fingers along Ros’s smooth jaw. “What if I’m not sure I like the real me? I want to be someone you like to be around.”
Ros cocked his head. “I’m changing a lot too. It’s okay to become something new. It’s your mind that’s the prison,” he said and pressed a kiss to Shane’s forehead.
Sparks exploded all over Shane, and he let out a soft gasp, leaning closer to his lover’s warm body.
“I want to take care of you.”
Ros let out a deep sigh. “Is it bad that I want to let you? I’m just so tired, you know. All the time. I don’t even have the time or energy to make art anymore.”
“It is a bit dumb of you to trust me again,” Shane admitted with a chuckle. He couldn’t help but flinch at the very idea of Ros no longer being able to create his beautiful sculptures. So maybe it was easier to be artistic without the threat of violence and hunger always lurking around the corner, but it wasn’t Ros’s fault that he’d been born into a family that offered him safety. That should have been the baseline for anyone, so the fact that Shane had such a different childhood experience could only be blamed on his useless parents. “But if you do, I’ll do everything I can to prove that I can be worth something too.”
Shane would bury another body with his bare hands for the little smile it got him. “Okay, so how do we do this? I wanna take it slow and figure it all out first.”
Was this really his chance?
Shane stiffened, because for all his sulking attempts, deep down he hadn’t believed Ros would be this generous, and he didn’t want to fuck it up.
“We’ll get Frank’s truck and collect your things. And then you can have my room,” he uttered with a soft exhale, cautious when Rosen’s brows lowered. Had he said something wrong?
“Are you sure you’re fine with that? The sofa’s out there in the living room…”
“Yeah, that’s where I’m gonna sleep,” Shane said quickly, before covering his awkwardness with a fake cough. “I barely have any stuff of my own, so I can easily live out of a duffel bag. You’ll be safe, and fed, and you can focus on your art. No pressure. About anything.”
Ros’s widening smile made his heart beat so fast he knew he’d said the right thing. “I’d really like that, Shane. And we can figure things out from there.”
There was no kiss to finalize their new agreement, but that was fine. Shane could now keep an eye on Ros, make him happy, and eat breakfast with him each day. It was already much more than he’d hoped for.
Chapter 17 – Ros
“They’re not for you!”
Shane’s yelling startled Ros out of sleep. Just as promised, Shane had given Ros his room, and while Ros was still uncertain of how things would progress between them, he was about to greet the first day in his new home. He’d probably never forget the fear and regret of the night when the man he’d fallen for had betrayed his trust, but he wanted to believe the change in Shane.