I wasn’t sure we could “send” Shan anywhere at this point. He’d been too despondent before, so he hadn’t cared where we directed him. He’d followed blindly and uncaringly. But now he was set in his depressed ways. He was stubborn.
“I don’t know. He sees the twins whenever they visit.” I started the engine and backed out of the lot. “A change of scenery wouldn’t kill him, though.”
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
“I’ll talk to him tonight.”
It’d been a while since we’d had the chance. In order to support my addiction to seeing him at that club, I had to run myself ragged to keep my personas separate. And it was ironic. He got me—all of me—when we fucked, but it required the fake identity of someone else to get through the door. Which took a lot of work. From checking in to a hotel hours before, going through my transformation, then making up excuses as to why I was never home once he returned from a hookup.
It was fucking exhausting.
Yet, I couldn’t stop.
Finn wasn’t wrong; I only worked eight to ten hours a day at the moment, but if someone were to ask Shannon, I worked a hell of a lot more, often covering long-distance shipments between Philly and Chicago.
I’d started telling rookie lies…
“You looking forward to your vacation?” Finn asked conversationally.
I glanced at him. “Can I even go?”
September was mere weeks away, but given…everything, I didn’t see it. I hadn’t made any reservations or bought any tickets.
“I don’t see why not.” Finn shrugged. “Our streets haven’t been this safe since Ronan was boss.”
Yeah, because we had a crew keeping the Italians busy on their own turf. Once a week, like clockwork, they destroyed a structure or a home of someone associated with the Avellino family. It was nationwide news in Italy, and it’d caused an interesting riot on social media. Italy had its history with the mafia, so one side was cheering, thanking both God and karma for this development. After all, it was liberating shopkeepers and other businesses from Avellino oppression. Then there was another side that was mainly furious with the authorities because they had no idea who was behind it all.
Well. Some could guess. We’d had a couple agents asking questions, and Eric knew the local authorities in Italy had called in both federal and international branches.
“You remember last year when we discussed your vacation?” Finn asked next.
The way he said it caused an alarm to go off in my head, and considering our previous subject…
I white-knuckled the wheel and tried to stay calm. “I remember you had an insane idea relating to my vacation, and then we laughed and agreed you’d temporarily lost your marbles to come up with such a thing.”
“I—”
“I also distinctly recall you promising you’d never suggest anything like that again,” I finished.
He chuckled and sucked his teeth. “I don’t remember it going that way at all.”
I sighed and shook my head.
I wasn’t bringing Shan on a vacation, end of fucking story.
If I ended up going, I didn’t even know what it would look like. For most of my life, I’d had no issues separating the heart from the body, but man, I was miserably in love right now. I couldn’t imagine another man naked, much less bending over for him.
“How’s your French anyway?” he asked, lingering on the same topic.
I quirked a brow at him, then made a turn for the restaurant we were going to. “Ça pourrait être mieux.” I said it could be better.
“Splendid.” He must be under the impression I’d said something else… Fucker. “Then I’m sure we can work something out. All intel points to me sending you to France soon, no matter what. Why not combine it with a vacation?”
He was gonna fuck me over; I just knew it.
“And somehow, you’re gonna find a reason to send your old man with me,” I replied flatly.
The car ahead of us tried to cut me off, so I honked and gestured at the motherfucker.
All intel points… Fuck off. Eric and Ghost had discovered a trail of transactions between a bank in the Caymans and a local money transfer service in France, but that was it. All other activity could be traced to Italy. That was where shit went down, and he refused to send me there. He didn’t want me too close to the heat, he said.
“Don’t get cunty, Ford. You know as well as I do that we gotta follow the money, and if the Avellino leftovers have a funder hiding somewhere in France, it wouldn’t hurt if you were already in the country.”
That wasn’t the goddamn problem, and he knew it.
“Give me one good reason Shan should tag along,” I demanded. “In case you haven’t noticed, he wants nothin’a do with the syndicate anymore. He frets like a woman if I’m not home on time, and every time he visits you guys, he asks if you’re being safe like it’s your prom night.”