How was he so calm?
“You’re just going to sit there and read?” I asked, half in disbelief.
He glanced over at me and furrowed his brow. “What should I do instead? I picked up pastries, and you’ll make coffee.”
“You could at least pace nervously like a normal person.”
His mouth twitched with amusement, and he dropped his stare to the magazine again. “I am not going to worry about how my adult son will react to his father being—what was it you called it?—somewhat engaged to someone new.”
Heh.
“I understand it will be a shock for him,” he continued and flipped a page, “but he’ll come around. We raised him to be compassionate toward his family, Kellan. He wants me to be happy.”
I didn’t doubt that. It was the period before he accepted the reality that worried me. This wasn’t some guy I hardly knew. We’d grown up together, side by side, and I knew him well. I knew he’d come around eventually. But I had some minor abandonment issues that I’d hid so well that nobody knew I had them.
Cough.
In short, I was admittedly frightened he was going to be disappointed that it was me. And I wasn’t sure I could erase that memory once he settled down.
“I think I’m just gonna blurt it out the second they get here,” I said.
“You do that, sweetheart. Try to get him before he’s even taken off his jacket.”
Now he was mocking me. Wonderful.
“I need a smoke,” I muttered.
I headed out on the patio and made a mental reminder to lock the patio doors once I was back inside. It might spare my life in case Finn wanted to throw me over the brick wall and down onto the ground twenty-one flights below us.
I lit up my smoke and peered down there. The wall was almost reached my chest thanks to a railing where the brick ended, but Finn was pretty damn strong. He could toss me over.
It was getting cold, even more so up here where the winds were ruthless.
Finn had to be okay with us. He had to.
Emilia couldn’t be happier. I’d been dodging her questions since they’d left for Ireland, and I was fairly certain she’d told my sister too. Luna had stared at me a lot last time we met up. Kept asking how I was doing and if there was anything new going on in my life.
Thankfully, she was away now too. She and Colm had flown to Dublin for a few days to put flowers on Conn’s grave and to have CJ see his grandparents there.
Done with my cigarette, I exhaled toward the sky and put it out before I made my way back inside.
Oh shite.
They were here already.
My stomach dropped, my heart started pounding, and I locked the patio doors.
Well, Finn had taken off his jacket, at least. Everyone stood at the center of the living room, eyes directed at the new baby stroller that was twice as large as it should be.
“They are just precious. Well done, you two.” Shan didn’t hesitate to hold one of the little ones when Emilia offered. He was a natural. He smiled down at the bundle and stroked the baby’s cheek with a finger. “I still remember when this was you, Finn. Boy, were you angry. You came out screaming and didn’t stop for a long, long…long time.”
Emilia shook her head at Finn. “Why do you look proud of that?” She spotted me a second later, and Finn’s response got lost. “Hey, you! Shan told us you were here.”
Nice act.
I swallowed nervously and walked closer. “Welcome home from your lunch break.” Not ready to look Finn in the eye, I kept my focus on the babies. They weren’t red and wrinkly anymore. “They’re cute. Who’s Ryan’s backup, and who’s BOGO?”
Shan smacked me upside the head.
I smirked wryly. So he could still do that. Got it.
“BOGO,” Emilia snickered.
“This here’s our little ruler, Reagan. Reagan Shannon O’Shea.” Finn picked up the last one and held it to his body. “He came out about two minutes before Cory.”
“That’s short for Cormac,” Emilia said and looked up at Shan. “His middle name is Ian.”
That was a sweet tribute to Shan’s best friend, who’d died protecting Grace.
Shan was touched.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but notice that Finn was still holding baby Cory.
I took a breath, knowing I wouldn’t get a better opportunity. He couldn’t do anything while he was holding his son.
“Where are the other two, by the way?” Shan asked. “I bet Ryan’s a proud big broth—”
“Shan and I live here together,” I blurted out.
Yeah, that got me everyone’s attention.
Great job. Keep going, genius.
“As a couple,” I said. “Romantically. That’s why I’m here. It’s my home too.”
Finn’s forehead creased in confusion. I caught Emilia beaming next to him, and I didn’t dare find out Shan’s reaction. I already knew I hadn’t been smooth, but now the truth was out there.