A Very Cerberus Christmas (Cerberus MC)

“I have my own life, Robbie. You’re going to have yours as well. There will be boundaries.”

“I know. I’ll see about getting a prepaid tomorrow. Sleep well, Lucy. See you tomorrow.”

I press my forehead to the door after he leaves, but no matter how many slow breaths I take, the weight on my chest doesn’t lift.

Chapter 12

Snake

Lucy: I just need a little time and space.

I’ve read that text message over and over for a week and a half.

We went from can’t get enough of each other to a complete stall in our relationship, and I easily call it a relationship because I can’t get the woman out of my head. Never in my life has a woman had me so damn tangled up. I mope around the clubhouse like a kicked dog. Ace and Skid make fun of me. The other guys avoid me because my attitude is awful. I’m a walking advertisement for the premedicated people on anti-depressant commercials.

I hate feeling this way. I hate that I’ve driven by her house on numerous occasions. I hate that I know Robbie Farrow is out of prison and is spending time at her house. I hate that I asked Shadow to do some research on the man. I hate that she won’t talk to me and tell me what’s going on herself.

More importantly, I hate that things may be over between us when we barely got started in the first place. I pictured myself starting a life with this woman. I know it was early days, but white picket fences and a yard full of kids? Yeah, I wanted that with her. I wanted the sink full of dishes and toys spread out around the family room. I wanted the dog getting into trouble for chewing the corner off the couch and baby giggles. I wanted soccer games, and hell, trying to get along with her ex because it was clear from watching Robbie play with Harley in the front yard that the man loves his son.

I want all of it.

I’m tired of slinking around in the shadows not knowing where I stand. She needed a little time and space, and I gave it. A week and a half is a little, at least by my standards, and enough is enough.

I thought about walking away, that maybe fighting for what I’ve imagined isn’t worth it, but those thoughts make me sick to my stomach. I know what we have is special. I can feel it every time I look at her. Giving up on her isn’t an option. If that’s what she wants then I’ll have to deal, but I need to hear it from her lips.

I watch as she walks Harley next door to Mrs. Greene’s house, my restraint barely under control as she climbs into her car. I keep some distance between her car and my truck, thankful that she’s a very punctual person, arriving fifteen minutes early to work each day. It will give us a few minutes to talk without me causing her to be late to work. I just want to know where we stand without making her late. I don’t want to cause undue stress. I want to make things easier for her. I want her to know that I care, that I’m here for her.

I know she’s too stuck in her head when I manage to get within a few feet of her as she climbs out of her car without her noticing me.

“Lucy?”

She gasps, turning in my direction, relief washing over her when she notices it’s me. The company she works for seriously needs to replace the burned-out lights in the employee parking lot.

“Hey,” I say stupidly as if we’re running into each other on chance and I haven’t been stalking her up to the exact moment she arrives at work. “Can we talk?”

Her eyes dart around the parking lot.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Her face falls. “I… Micah, I wasn’t even thinking that.”

“Robbie is out of prison.” I’m not going to waste time because she doesn’t have much before her shift starts.

“He wasn’t supposed to get out until January, and he just showed up the Sunday after our visit. He wants to meet you, but it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how? Are you two getting back together?”

She shakes her head, an instant reaction. “No, but he was around bikers before, and that’s how he got into trouble.”

“I’m not going to be best friends with your ex, sweetheart, and we’re not criminals. He’s not going to be in trouble with us. If he’s got a record, he can’t even come on Cerberus property.”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean. He just has all these preconceived notions, and I don’t know. It’s just. Ugh.” Her hands go to her face.

“I’ll do whatever I need to do to prove that I’m not a bad influence on Harley,” I tell her, hating the two feet of distance between us.