A Very Cerberus Christmas (Cerberus MC)

Harley and I should be with him tonight, but I texted that I wanted to stay home. I regret that now more than ever.

“These two are from me, Momma.” Harley points to two perfectly wrapped gifts sitting on the top.

“I love them.”

“You don’t even know what they are.” He giggles. “These two are from Micah.”

He points to a couple more in similar paper. So, this is what they did on their little outing. What a sweet man to include my son on something like this.

“I don’t know what these others are.”

Robbie bends down, reading the tags on the other gifts. “Those are all for you, kiddo.”

He’s smiling as he says it, but I can see the strain around his eyes. I can imagine what he’s feeling. He’s not getting rich working for the man the counselor set him up with when he was released, and he’s not getting a free ride either. A lot of his paychecks are eaten up with bills and rent. He had to buy clothes with his first check, and it didn’t leave much left over.

“He’s not trying to show you up,” I whisper to Robbie. “He’s a good man.”

Robbie nods, his eyes darting away from me to watch Harley as he scouts out the front yard, looking up at the sky for the best angle to place the food.

“He seems like a good man from what you’ve said and from the way Harley talks about him. I wasn’t able to get him much, Lucy.”

“He never expects much. He’s a grateful kid.”

He shakes his head, and I know he’s disappointed in himself, more now that he’s on the outside and struggling. It makes me wonder if he’s going to start pulling back, distancing himself from Harley because he doesn’t feel like he can do right by his son. I wonder if Robbie feels like anyone can do better than he can.

“Robbie.” I reach for him, but he steps off the porch.

“How about this reindeer food? Do we put it in a pile or is it more of a sprinkle?”

“We sprinkle it,” Harley explains to his dad. “But wash your hands before you rub your eyes. Glitter hurts really bad if it gets in your eyes.”

“Noted,” Robbie says as Harley sprinkles some in his hands.

They spend thirty seconds spreading the “food” out for Santa’s crew before Robbie waves goodbye. He’s been walking back and forth from where he’s been staying. I don’t offer to drive him because money is tight for me as well and gas is expensive. He promised before he was released that he wouldn’t be a burden on me, and he’s been good about sticking to that. Financially, anyway. Emotionally, I feel like things couldn’t get worse because I’m heartbroken. Robbie was here tonight instead of Micah.

I usher Harley back inside, urging him to wash the glitter from his tiny hands before getting ready to go to bed as I get the gifts from the front porch and situate them around the tree. We finish watching The Santa Clause and enjoy the hot chocolate.

“Will Micah be here in the morning when I wake up?”

“I don’t think so, buddy.”

He nods, his little face sad.

After getting Harley to bed, I pick up the phone and type out a text, thanking Micah for the gifts, letting him know that I’ll get pictures of Harley opening them in the morning.

I get back a thumbs up.

It guts me.

I manage to get the hidden gifts out of the top of my closet, arrange them under the tree, and back to my room before I break down into sobs.

Chapter 14

Snake

Hangovers are the worst, especially after a night that’s meant for happiness and fun. Fours kids were at the clubhouse last night. Shadow’s son Griffin, Kincaid’s twin daughters and Dominic’s adopted daughter Jasmine. It should’ve been five. Harley should’ve been here with Lucy.

There was joy last night, even when Dom announced that the first sonogram they had last month was wrong and he wasn’t having a son but a daughter. They’re going to name her Sophia and are ecstatic that she’s healthy.

Lucy didn’t show. I knew she wouldn’t. She texted earlier in the day saying she wanted some normalcy. I wasn’t a part of that, but it didn’t stop Robbie from being a part of their routine. The man they spent an hour with once a month for the last six years got to infiltrate that special night. I wasn’t invited.

The day has been absolute shit, spent popping over-the-counter pain medicine and drinking bottled water to make up for the whiskey I drank last night like it would solve all of my problems. Even Ace and Skid left me to it after the party died down early. Everyone called it an early night because Christmas morning was fast approaching. Kid and Khloe disappeared because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Snatch and Itchy had better things to do than watch me wallow in my heartache.