But despite the weightlessness in my limbs, my lungs burning as I struggled to get air into them, I obeyed. Because I could take more. I needed more. More than I needed oxygen.
Barely breathing, crawling upward so I was straddling Felix who was watching me intently. I lowered myself onto him, who let out a sharp hiss as he filled me up. I cried out as I seated myself, fully and completely, another man inside the place Cristian had just fucked. The space that Cristian owned. I throbbed with need, not even moving but still close to climaxing again. To breaking apart.
Felix touched me now, his hands settling on my hips. Although he was inside me, filling me up, although I’d had him in my mouth moments ago, something about that touch was intimate. It caused me to burn even hotter.
Cristian gripped my hair once more, pulling me back to claim my mouth. The small motion shifted me ever so slightly and my body coiled, tightened, readying for release.
Cristian’s mouth left mine, but he didn’t let me go. He stared, eyes roving over my face.
“There it is,” he growled. “There you are.”
Then he let me go, pushing me slightly so I fell forward, my hands landing on the mattress on either side of Felix.
The cords of his neck were firm lines, his jaw clenched. Our eyes met, lips inches from one another. I knew that I would not kiss him. Because that was for us, Cristian and me. Because I fucking loved that he was inside me, that we were this close, yet it made it all the more dirty to hover there.
The bed moved as Cristian positioned himself at my other entrance while I kept eye contact with Felix, who I realized had not said a word. Another thing I liked. Fucking loved it.
I didn’t need him to speak. It wasn’t about that. Not for me. Not for him. Certainly not for Cristian.
Cristian’s fingers moved against my ass, coated with lube, readying me, preparing me. My body shivered as he went inside, coating me there too.
I cried out as Cristian entered me. He did not ease in. He was not gentle with me. And I had not expected him to be. The violence of it all almost caused me to come right then. With two men inside of me. Filling me up. But I didn’t. Because I wanted to hold on to it. The feeling of depravity. Of brilliant fucking pleasure.
So I sank my teeth into my lip once more, tasting blood.
Cristian did not stay stationary for any longer. He started to move. To fuck me hard. And although I might’ve expected such a position to be awkward, we were in sync. Perfectly. I fought against what I already knew would be the most intense orgasm of my life.
Felix’s eyes were no longer dead. No longer devoid of anything. They glowed with need. With hunger. Reverence. For me. It turned me on even more. This was a connection that would never be broken, a memory that would never dull, even though we all knew this was never going to be repeated.
That made it all the more special.
All the more sacred.
I couldn’t hold in my cries any longer. As my body reached its limit, my pleasure reached its apex, unable to hold on for another second.
Cristian kept pumping as I exploded, as I milked a release from Felix, his growl coming from the base of his throat—the base of his fucking soul—only sending me further over the edge.
Cristian was relentless, he was unwilling to let me come down, to provide me mercy. It wasn’t punishment. He was pushing me to my limits, stripping me down to the barest parts of me. Claiming it all.
Felix was still hard underneath me, so I got no respite as my body exploded over and over until there was nothing left. Right when I thought I could take no more, Cristian grunted his release inside of me at the same time Felix’s body spasmed, and I felt him orgasm inside me, causing me to splinter apart completely.
Chapter Twenty
Felix left when we were done. It wasn’t awkward.
Though I was much too dazed and overwhelmed to really feel anything until after he left. Until Cristian helped me back into my dress once we were alone again.
“You’re going to walk down that aisle, virginal in white, looking like the fucking queen you are,” Cristian murmured once he’d buttoned my dress. “You are going to walk down the aisle knowing you let two men fuck you in every way you can be fucked. And I know you, so I know you’ll fucking love it. Your pussy will be drenched, aching for more. Because that is who you are.”
Though I wanted to scream at him, wanted to tell him how wrong he was, how little he knew about me, I couldn’t. Because he knew me. Everything. He knew that the best wedding gift he could’ve given me was what just happened.