“We could go watch the rowing team race,” I suggest, and Emerson lifts a brow, seeing through my bullshit.
“I’m more than down for that. You want to tell me if that text is the first time Apollo has said he loves you?”
“It’s not the first time,” I mumble and look out the window.
“That’s a big part of the story to leave out, Celeste.”
“I wasn't sure it was true after everything that happened!” I find myself getting defensive.
“You must be changing your mind if you want to go to the race.”
I let out a long breath. “I miss him,” I say, and that’s the truth. I haven't been sleeping and barely eating. I pick at my food, but I don’t have much of an appetite.
“But do you love him?”
“Yes,” I admit. “It’s not something I can turn off.”
“Then let's go see your man pull off this win. He might actually do it if he sees you’re there.” Emerson smiles as he pulls out of the parking lot.
I tell myself I’m only going to watch the race and go. I’ll even hide in the back. Too bad that’s easier said than done.
Chapter Four
Apollo
She came to my race.
That’s all I can think about as I get off the boat and try to make my way through the stands. Just as we were about to begin, I looked into the crowd and there she was. She was trying to hide in the back, but there’s no place on this earth where I wouldn't find her.
“Apollo.”
I blow by my dad and head straight for the dispersing crowd. As soon as we blew past the finish line, it was all I could do not to jump in the lake and swim back to her. She must have rushed out of here as soon as it was over. With one last look, I turn around and go to my gear by the lake to grab my phone. The twins Mika and Joseph are on duty right now, so they’ll know where she is.
“Lo,” my dad says as he comes up beside me. When I don’t look up, he grabs my arm to get my attention.
Straightening, I turn to face him and see his mouth is pressed in a hard line. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” He lets out a breath and looks around like he’s trying to find the words he needs to speak.
“I need to go.”
“Just wait.”
It’s been tense between my dad and me, but I don’t want to do this right this second. He’s been tight-lipped about what the fuck was going on between him and Celeste’s mom Anna. When he held me back from going after Celeste, I could have murdered him, but one look in his eyes and I could see something there I’d never seen before. Pain.
Something happened, but he’s not saying what, and I’m not sure I want to have that conversation now…or ever.
“Please.” His eyes soften, and although part of me is angry with him, a bigger part of me understands what it’s like to be rejected by someone that you love.
“Yeah, Dad.” I hold my bag in one hand and my cell phone in the other, making it clear I’m not hanging around.
“I just wanted to tell you that you did amazing in the water today.” He lets out a breath like he’s been holding it the entire race. “I’m really proud of you. I don’t know if I’ve said that enough between showing you off and bragging about how dedicated you are, but I truly believe it. You’re incredible, and no matter what happens after graduation, you will always be my amazing little boy.”
There’s a lump in my throat that I can’t swallow around. My chest tightens like when Celeste told me she loved me. Instead of trying to speak, I nod and duck my chin.
“I didn’t do everything right, and I pushed too hard. Now I’m afraid I’ve pushed you away.”
“No,” I’m quick to say as my shoulders deflate. “Dad, I—”
“I know, you need to go. It’s fine, we can talk later.” He smiles softly and squeezes my shoulder. “Have fun tonight, Lo.”
Before I can say anything else, he’s gone. There’s a muscle in my shoulder where he touched me that relaxes, and I wonder how long it’s been tense. Maybe since the other night, maybe for the past four years. Who knows?
I don’t remember a time in my life when my father has admitted fault. Maybe he did push me too hard when I was young, like Principal Nolan said, but it did make me who I am. I’m not someone who gives up, and I won’t stop until I win. Slowly and steadily, I’ll get what I want.
Glancing down at my phone, I see I have a text from the twins. I smile as I tuck my phone in my pocket and go straight to my car.