Rebel Without A Claus

I tapped in my passcode and stilled. I had a new message from Nicholas, and I frowned. Why was he texting me? I’d given him my number for emergencies only. Not to use for us to have a chat whenever he felt like it.

NICHOLAS: Do you have any trees left at the farm?

Too many.

ME: Christmas or otherwise?

NICHOLAS: I was thinking a nice beech tree would look good with lights this year.

Smartass.

Mind you, that’s what I got for being one myself.

ME: I know you’re being cocky, but you’d be surprised.

ME: Yes, there are trees. It’s a tree farm. It would be useless if it didn’t have trees.

NICHOLAS: I see you are a delight on a morning.

ME: Thank you for noticing. Don’t you have a tree yet?

NICHOLAS: Would I be asking if I had one?

ME: I don’t know. Maybe a squirrel got in yours. Chipmunks are destructive. Cats aren’t great. Have you SEEN National Lampoons? Look at what happened to that tree.

NICHOLAS: I have seen that movie. It’s a national treasure. I don’t have a cat, a squirrel, a chipmunk, or an Uncle Lewis.

ME: Oh.

ME: You’re just unorganized then.

NICHOLAS: Something like that. I’ll come by and get one.

ME: If you can get here. I don’t know what the roads are like.

NICHOLAS: I saw the salt truck out last night. The main roads should be fine.

ME: Do you remember our farm being on a main road?

NICHOLAS: Good point. I was going to ask my dad if I could borrow his truck to get the tree home anyway. Can you get out?

ME: No idea. I’m not a morning person.

NICHOLAS: Does that mean you’re in bed? *smirk emojis*

I walked right into that one.

ME: I am not in bed. I’m drinking coffee but I’m not awake yet. You’re lucky I’m able to converse in full sentences and haven’t summoned a demon.

NICHOLAS: Are you sure? Beezlebub, are you there?

ME: Azazel will be with you shortly.

NICHOLAS: Let me know about the roads when you’re done conversing with your demonic comrades, Azazel.

ME: Did you… Did you just give me a nickname after a demon?

NICHOLAS: If the shoe fits.

ME: I am going to make your life hell.

ME: Any miniscule, slim chance you may have had of getting me back into bed in a drunken moment of madness has flown right out of the window.

NICHOLAS: Did you get one of your minions to fly it out there?

ME: FUCK YOU, SANTA

NICHOLAS: I live in hope that you will, Azazel.

I was going to kill him.

Azazel? Of all the nicknames in the world, he names me after a literal demon?

All right, so it wasn’t like I was some kind of angel as a teenager, as evidenced by my escapades around the town hall—not my fault the mayor was a dick, okay?—but a demon?

This was not over.

***

“Miiiiiiichael!” I sang, walking into the tree barn. “Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiichael!”

“Stop that.” My brother-in-law smacked his ear as he appeared from behind a makeshift wall. “Is Verity in labor?”

“God, I hope not. She’s been complaining enough all morning without her uterus conspiring against us.”

He choked back a laugh. “Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. I did that to her.”

“Yes, I know. It’s reflected in your Christmas present.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked around. “Are you busy?”

“Did you just look around an empty barn and ask me if I’m busy?”

“There are tree spots to be filled. Just because nobody is here doesn’t mean you aren’t doing anything.”

“Great. Can you tell my wife that?”

“Absolutely fucking not. I didn’t get a choice in her being my sister, but you chose to marry her crazy ass. You tell her.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fucking hell, Quinn. You’re supposed to be nice to me.”

“No.”

“What do you want?”

“Do you know what the roads look like? I need to finish my shopping before the grotto goes insane, and Verity needs me to pick up Mom’s Christmas present from you guys. I don’t want to drag the old truck out if I don’t have to.”

He hit me with a stern gaze. “Are you asking me to drive you into town so you can go shopping?”

“Yes.” I clasped my hands behind my back and looked around innocently. “While I also collect your present for your beloved mother-in-law.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“You’ll absolutely have to wait for me, meaning you can head to the bakery or the café and sit down in peace and quiet without Jazzy or Verity or the tree farm and have a coffee and a sandwich.” I raised my eyebrows and met his gaze. “And if anyone questions you, you can make a quick escape and blame everything on me.”

Michael glanced around the barn. “Jesus, you’re going to get me in trouble.”

“Think how happy Verity would be if you were the reason that I could pick up Mom’s Christmas present.”

“Stop manipulating me, Quinn. I’m already sold.” He pulled his keys from his pocket and tossed them to me. “Go wait in my truck and give me five minutes to sort this place out.”