Rebel Without A Claus

“Great,” I muttered.

“Oh, come on, Azazel. It won’t be that bad. It’s just some Christmas lights.” Nicholas touched his hand to my upper back and pushed me forward.

It won’t be that bad my ass.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The crowds were utterly suffocating. Everyone was crammed into the square, bodies all crushed together. If one person moved, so did six or seven others around them, sending a wave out to everyone else so the entire crowd ended up moving an inch to the left or right, front or back, depending on the direction.

This was literally my worst nightmare.

I was going to throw up. And since we were all crammed in together, it’d probably end up on thirty different people.

Oh, well.

They’d live.

They’d smell like vomit, but they’d live.

“This is insane,” I muttered as I was shoved to one side, into both Oscar and Nicholas. “I can see these lights get switched on whenever I want. All I have to do is walk down the street at five o’clock and then, boom. Lights switched on.”

Erin pushed someone away from her, setting off a whole other chain reaction, but giving us an inch of breathing space. “Oh, come on. This used to be your favorite thing.”

“Yeah, when it was just the townspeople and not half of Instagram’s influencers.”

Right on cue, someone near us shouted to her friend to make sure she had the good side of the back of her head.

How did anyone have a good side of the back of their head?

Ugh. Living in the Christmas capital of the northeast was draining.

“I don’t usually agree with the town grinch, but I’m with her,” Oscar said, putting his arm around Erin to stop her being jostled by someone else. “This is crazy. How does anyone enjoy this?”

“I do.” Erin pouted. “It’s my favorite Christmas tradition.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose it’s not that bad, really.”

“Suck up,” I muttered.

Nicholas laughed, shoving his arm out to protect me from someone’s elbow. He dipped his head down and hovered his lips over my ear and said, “Stop being so miserable. Erin likes it, he’s trying to make her happy. You’re so salty.”

“All right, fine, I’ll be quiet,” I grumbled, wrapping my arms around my middle.

For now.

I’d make noise tomorrow, though.

Probably have a good bitch on Tumblr, to be honest.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Nicholas continued. “Besides, how can you not like Christmas lights? How are they not one of the things you like about Christmas?”

They were.

I loved the lights.

For me, they were one of the truly magical things about Christmas—right up there with fulfilling the wishes of kids and German waffles from a market cart.

Genuinely, I fucking loved Christmas lights. I loved seeing them draped around twenty-foot trees; strung from building to building down a street; random reindeers and bells and holly sprigs poking out from the strangest of places.

I just hated the fuss.

“I like the lights just fine,” I half-lied. “I just don’t see why everyone needs to make a fuss about them like this. You can see them every night. The tree in the square has been lit up for three weeks already.”

“Oh, my fucking God,” he muttered, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me against him. “Just enjoy the moment, would you?”

No.

I couldn’t.

Because all I could think about was his hand clasping the curve of my waist and the way his fingers twitched, pushing in despite my coat. It was about the way his lips brushed my earlobe and his breath tickled my neck, and how the goosebumps on my neck erupted in a fresh wave every single time he exhaled.

So, no.

No.

I couldn’t enjoy it.

Not as the countdown happened and the entire crowd boomed out a five, four, three, two, one.

Not as the mayor hit the button that switched on the lights.

Not as the lights all burst into brightness, illuminating the town in a myriad of color from red to white and green and blue and yellow and pink and purple. I tilted my head back and looked around, admiring the way the square came to life.

Trees that were previously dark were now bathed in yellow lights, showing their distinct triangular shape that culminated in a star.

Stars that had been mere metal shapes were now blinking with multi-colored lights, and holly silhouettes were a mix of red berries and green leaves. Santa hats were a combination of red and white, and baubles were a mixture of all the colors, but no less beautiful.

It was all really quite beautiful. To see the town I loved so much lit up in such a stunning way… It was something special, and it felt like this every year.

Nicholas took a step closer to me. “Yeah. You look like you’re hating this.”

“It’s the fucking worst,” I whispered, staring at the lights until they blurred into crosses and lines that made my eyes borderline water. “Look how ugly they all are.”