“Makes sense,” I said quietly, bending to pick up a few more decorations. “This tree is a hodge-podge of generations.”
“It’s weirdly charming,” Nicholas noted. “How long do we have before we have to go?”
I checked my phone. “Two or so hours. It’s fine. We can probably do the whole room, if you want.”
“I don’t know what else she has. I only bought a few basics.” He took a step back and looked around. “That big red tub over there is some stuff, but I don’t know what.”
I put the last decoration in my hand on the tree and crossed the room to look. The lid snapped open easily, and I froze when I saw the contents. “Whoa, Nicholas, look. It’s all brand new. I think it’s all outdoor lighting!”
“What?” Frowning, he joined me. “This is crazy. She said a few years ago she wanted to decorate the outside of the house and promised to send me pictures, but she never did. I asked and she said she’d never gotten around to buying stuff.”
“Well, she clearly did. Look.” I picked up the box that had a ‘Santa Stop Here’ ground stake with lights. “The plastic seal is still here.”
“On this one, too.” He showed me a box of icicle lights.”
“Do you—do you think she bought the lights, but nobody would help her?”
He stared at the icicle lights for a long moment, and his throat bobbed when he swallowed. “That must be the case. My grandpa used to decorate it, remember? And we’d all be able to come and see it and walk through it, but then he got too sick, and it was never done again. She never mentioned doing it after that one year.” He dropped his chin. “I should have come home more often to help her.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault.” I rested my hand on his shoulder. “Nicholas… You were living your life. Getting your degree and starting your career. I’m sure she never expected you to drop everything to go and put up some Christmas lights or paint her porch.”
“I know, but—”
“The people to blame here are your parents. You were in Illinois. It’s not like you could just up and drive and be here in a morning, is it? It’s what, at least twelve hours driving?”
“About sixteen and a half.”
“Exactly.”
“I could have flown.”
“No. Stop that.” I tapped his shoulder and leaned in close. “You can’t change what happened. What we can do is put those lights up for her this year.”
He tilted his head so he was looking at me. His blue eyes had a hint of a shadow in them, one of sadness, and I felt so bad for him.
“You’ll help me again?”
“Sure. I mean, I do kind of like Christmas lights,” I admitted begrudgingly. “I suppose helping you put some up wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
His lips twitched.
“But I’m not going into any of those fucking stores if you’re missing something, all right? You’re on your own there, buddy. Absolutely not.”
“Shopping now is a hard limit. Understood.” His smile widened, and he reached over and pushed my hair from my face. His fingers trailed down my jaw until he cupped my chin.
Nicholas’s gaze dropped to my lips for a brief second, and my breath hitched.
Was he going to kiss me again?
Did I want him to?
What would I do if he did?
He leaned forward the slightest amount, as if he was going to. I braced myself for the touch of his lips against mine once more, but he stilled.
“Come on,” he said softly. “Let’s at least finish the tree today.”
I slowly exhaled and nodded when he released my chin and stood up. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
***
I kicked off my boots and paused.
The house was deathly quiet. I couldn’t hear the cat causing mayhem, or Jazzy, or even Grandpa. It wasn’t all that late, it was only ten-thirty, but it seemed like everyone was in bed.
Did I have the TV to myself?
Talk about a Christmas miracle.
I pulled off my scarf and hung it up with my coat, then padded into the kitchen. The under-cupboard lights had been left on, and I knew that was Mom making sure I didn’t come home to a pitch-black house. It was bright enough that I was able to retrieve my bottle of wine from the fridge and pour a glass, plus cut myself a slice of cherry pie.
Sure, I hadn’t eaten that long ago with Erin, but I wanted pie. There was pie. So pie I would have.
I took my glass and plate into the living room. It was dark in here, save for the ashes still burning bright orange in the fireplace. I beelined for it and stoked it, then added some kindling and a log from our property on top of it. It quickly cracked away, which told me it hadn’t been long since everyone else had gone to bed.