He hesitated, wanting to say the right thing—but what was it? ‘You will need for nothing,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Clothes, jewels, whatever you like. They’re yours.’ Her mouth twisted and he realised he’d said the wrong thing. Allegra had not been particularly impressed or even interested in clothes or jewels, as far as he could see. So what did she want?
The women he’d dallied with in the past had been only interested in material possessions, a diamond bangle, a funded shopping spree in a designer boutique, but he knew Allegra was different. ‘And of course you can make the house your own. Decorate it as you wish. Garden...’ What else might she want to do? ‘Music,’ Rafael said at last. ‘You can have your own music room. Play as much as you want. Host concerts, even.’ He was practically babbling, and was irritated with himself for being so pathetically eager. She regarded him quietly, saying nothing, offering no encouragement.
‘Why don’t you tell me what you want?’ Rafael bit out. ‘Instead of looking disappointed because I can’t read your mind?’
She flinched at his tone and he silently cursed himself. What did she want from him? He could give her everything. Everything but love. Rafael stiffened, appalled at the thought. Was that what Allegra was holding out for? Some ridiculous, romantic fairy-tale? Surely not.
‘I don’t know what I want, Rafael,’ Allegra said quietly. ‘This is all so unexpected. I haven’t had time to process any of it properly. I’m still reeling from the news about the amnio results.’ She let out a weary sigh. ‘I know you don’t want to, but please give me a little time to catch up.’
‘Fine.’ He bit the word out, still tense. ‘But I do need to return to Palermo as soon as possible.’
‘Then maybe you should return and I’ll come later,’ Allegra countered. ‘Why must we rush things? We could at least get to know one another first...’
‘With me in Palermo and you here? No.’ Rafael shook his head, resolute. She would just find an excuse to stay in New York. The thought, stupidly, hurt. ‘I want you where I can see you, Allegra. Where I can protect you and take care of you and our son.’ His voice thickened, much to his shame. ‘That is important to me.’
Her expression softened as her silvery gaze swept over him. ‘You have far more of a protective streak than I ever realised.’
‘I do. I don’t want to let you or our child down.’
‘And you’re afraid you will?’
‘No.’ He rose from his desk, determined to end this conversation. It had all got stupidly emotional, and he hated that. He didn’t do emotion. It was for the weak. He’d learned that to his eternal cost with his father, when he’d goaded him with his childish complaints. When he hadn’t been able to stop what had happened next. Enough. There was nothing to be gained by thinking of that now. ‘I will never let that happen, Allegra. At least in that, you can trust me.’
* * *
Allegra sat down across from her mother, her expression resigned and set.
‘You’re what?’ Jennifer Wells screeched.
‘I’m going to Sicily,’ Allegra answered. ‘With the father of my child.’
‘But you don’t even know him.’
‘I know he’ll take care of me and our son.’ That was at least one aspect of Rafael’s character that she was sure of. It had been three days since Rafael had issued his ultimatum, and Allegra had spent those days thinking long and hard about her future. Their future. When the further tests with a neonatal cardiologist had revealed the extent of their son’s heart defect, which wasn’t as simple as they’d hoped but still within the realm of good news, her choice felt even more limited.
She couldn’t do this alone. She’d lived most of her life in determined independence, chosen isolation, loneliness, but she couldn’t do this by herself, and she didn’t even want to. But even more importantly she didn’t want Rafael or her son to miss out. She’d been denied her father’s presence in her life from the time she was twelve. Could she wilfully deny her son the chance to know his father, and Rafael the chance to know his son?