The Daring Miss Darcy (Lost Ladies of London 4)

“Very well.” She lifted her chin defiantly, unfastened the ribbons on her straw bonnet and placed it next to her on the bed. “Where shall I begin?”

She could begin by undressing, straddling him on the chair and begging for his forgiveness. “Were you on The Torrens when it sank?”

Estelle pursed her lips and nodded. “When the storm hit, I thought the world was ending. I’ve never seen waves like it. Mountain high. Of biblical proportions.” She put her hand on her stomach and winced. “The wind was so strong it blew men ten feet into the air. The ship careened to one side, the sea swamping the deck. Don’t ask me how I survived, although many times I wish I had not.”

Her eyes filled with tears and Vane felt like the worst of rogues for making her relive what was clearly a painful memory. Still, she owed those who loved her an explanation.

“And what of your lover? Did he survive?” The words sliced through the air like the crack of a whip — harsh and unforgiving.

He knew the answer of course.

Mr Peterson’s bloated body washed ashore and was claimed by relatives. Vane had spent a week pacing the beach looking for Estelle while Fabian scoured the beaches in France.

Little did she know that Vane had boarded one fishing vessel after another, had sat amongst the stench of festering fish guts watching every ripple in the water, praying for a miracle. The men had laughed and joked, shared family stories, while he had sat silently, filled with despair.

“My lover?” Estelle’s voice brought him back into the room, though the ache in his chest remained. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“There is no point denying what I know is true.” Why else would she leave him if not to elope with another man? “You boarded the vessel with Mr Peterson. People saw you dining together in a dockside tavern.”

A groan resonated from her throat. She shook her head, her frown disappearing only to be replaced by an arrogant grin.

“And so because a gentleman offered me sanctuary that means we were conducting a liaison? Maudette never left my side, not for a second.” Estelle closed her eyes briefly and whispered, “Poor Maudette. She did not deserve such a fate.”

“What do you mean Peterson offered you sanctuary?”

“Some men will assist a lady without demanding certain rewards in return. Three drunken bucks made a wager — which one of them would have me first. Mr Peterson punched the tallest one. He told them I was his sister and would shoot anyone who so much as looked at me in the wrong way.”

Anger burst to the fore — hot fury for the bastards who thought to take advantage of an innocent woman. Shame quickly followed, for presuming to think he had all the answers.

“Forgive me. Under the circumstances, I could not help but think the worst.”

If she’d not left him for another man, then what had he done to lose her favour?

He thrust his hand through his hair. The flurry of mixed emotions unsettled him. He preferred to feel empty, to feel nothing. The devil on his shoulder forced him to look at the bed, and whispered, “Take her and have done with it.”

“To assume such a thing means you think I’m a liar. That when I told you how much I—” She stopped abruptly and sighed. “It doesn’t matter now.”

Vane came to his feet. He turned to the window and watched people climb in and out of the coaches. Part of him did not want to hear any more. But knowing the truth was the only hope he had of putting the past behind him.

“And so how did you manage to reach the shore?”

A tense silence ensued.

“French smugglers found me one night while they were rummaging through the wreckage looking for anything of value.”

Smugglers!

A host of unwanted images flooded his mind. “Did … did they hurt you?” He closed his eyes while he waited for her answer, but lacked the strength to turn around and face her.

“Monsieur Bonnay led the men. He lived in a cottage in Wissant and took me in. His wife treated me like a daughter, and so no man dared lay a hand on me.”

Relief flowed through his veins to calm his racing heart. “How long did you stay with them?”

“Four years.”

Vane swung around unable to contain his shock. “Four years! Why the hell didn’t you leave sooner?”

Why did you not come home?