“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Lillian blurted.
“I’m afraid, I must.”
“Is it because of Estelle? If you love her why can’t you stay? Talk to me.”
“Lillian, I will if you stop bombarding me with questions. I have important business elsewhere. That is all.”
Lillian fell silent though her eyes flitted back and forth as though trying to make sense of it all. “Does Estelle know of these business plans?”
“No.” He reached into his coat pocket and handed Lillian a letter. “Will you give this to Estelle? Tell her I pray she understands. Tell her to wait for me.”
Lillian shook her head repeatedly. “But I don’t understand. Why can’t you stay and explain?” Two deep lines appeared between her brows.
Good God, he wanted nothing more than to spend a week in a castle with the woman he loved.
“Because Estelle needs time alone with Fabian without a distraction. And there is something I must do for her if she’s ever to be free of the nightmare she’s lived these last eight years.”
“Then leave tomorrow. Come up to the castle and dine with us. Have a good night’s rest before you embark on your journey.”
“Lillian, stop it. You’re only making it more difficult.”
Vane closed his eyes briefly.
One word from Estelle and he would never leave her side. They had a future together, years to spend living the life they’d dreamed. But she could not live in peace while fearing the smugglers. He could not permit their children to suffer for someone else’s mistake.
“You know Estelle will beg me not to go,” he continued. “You know she will insist that my reasons don’t matter. But our father was to blame for what happened to her and I will at least attempt to put it right.”
Vane took Lillian by the arms and kissed her on the cheek before she said something to change his mind or questioned him about the past.
“Why must you always be so stubborn? Why must you feel as though you’re to blame for those things beyond your control?” She sucked in a breath. “What happened to me was not your fault. What happened to Estelle was not your fault, either. Stop blaming yourself and be happy.”
Vane stepped away. “If you care for me at all, you will support me in this.”
“Support you? I will stand guard at your back until the day I die.”
“Then let me go. And promise me you will reassure Estelle that I am doing this for the right reasons.”
Silence ensued.
Lillian sighed. It was the sound of surrender.
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Then promise me you’ll take care. Promise me you will return to us soon.”
“I swear it.” Vane kissed her on the temple, then pulled away and climbed back into the boat. “Can you take me back to Branscombe, Mackenzie?”
“Aye, my lord,” Mackenzie said. The sorrow in the Scot’s voice was nothing to that in Vane’s heart. “Happen I need the exercise if I’m ever to outdo you with the oars.”
Vane did not look at Lillian as the boat moved away from the pier. He knew she watched him, knew that he had left her with an unbearable task and it was wrong of him. To distract his mind, he took up the spare oars and helped Mackenzie row.
“Och, there’s no need to offer assistance,” Mackenzie said. “I once rowed the length of the River Tay without even stopping to drain the dragon. Not as fast as you’d do it mind.”
Vane chuckled. Mackenzie had a way of bringing a man out of the doldrums.
“You’re welcome to come with me to France,” Vane said, pulling on the oars and propelling them through the water.
“Had you told me earlier I might have run it past his lordship.” Mackenzie stared at him for a moment. “Not that I’ve taken to prying into other people’s affairs,” he said changing the subject, “but I admire what you’re doing.”
“I imagine you’re the only one who does.”