Virgin's Sweet Rebellion
Page 61
She’d balked at telling someone she loved her once before. She’d failed her mother because she hadn’t been able to handle it, but she wouldn’t fail Ben or herself. She’d say the words, even if Ben told her she was on the wrong page or even in the wrong book. She needed to say those words to him for her sake as much as his own, no matter what the outcome.
‘Do you know where Ben is?’ she asked the woman, although she didn’t hold out much for Petty PA telling her.
In this, however, she was wrong. The PA gave her a smug smile and said, clearly relishing the opportunity to deliver the news, ‘He’s gone.’
* * *
Ben tortured himself by reading just about every article, every salacious snippet, on his imploded pseudo-relationship with Olivia. And in every single one he was made out to be a dupe, and she a voracious and desperate gold-digger.
The anger he felt towards the papers and the snitch, whoever it was, was nothing compared to what he directed at himself.
This was his fault. He hadn’t been able to keep up the pretence. He’d failed in some way every time they’d gone out; he hadn’t even been able to convince his own PA. No wonder people had figured out it was a lie. And while he didn’t really mind coming clean to the whole world about his real relationship with Olivia, he hated the thought of how she looked to everyone. And he knew this would cost her the role that she’d worked so hard for.
He left the office, left The Chatsfield, needing the space. He needed to clear his head and figure out some way to fix this for Olivia.
He walked in a daze towards the Tiergarten, feeling a jarring familiarity in the way things had happened. When his father had told him about Spencer not being his child, their whole family being fake, Ben’s first instinct had been to want to fix it. He’d tried to think of a practical solution, and then realised there weren’t any.
And now it was happening again. He couldn’t fix this. And this time it was all his fault.
He took a long, steadying breath, his mind racing as he tried to find a solution. He could grant an interview to the papers...he could tell them it had all been his fault...he could declare his love for Olivia the way James had with Princess Leila, using a billboard...
None of it, he knew, would get Olivia back her role in this upcoming film. It might even make things worse, and make their not-and-then-real relationship more of a spectacle, or even a joke.
Ben sank onto a bench in the Tiergarten, raking one hand through his hair. He was still playing the peacemaker, he realised, and maybe he needed to stop.
The last time he’d realised he couldn’t fix a problem, he’d run away. He’d been afraid and angry and hurt, and that, at eighteen years old, had been his way of dealing with the situation.
But he was thirty-two years old now, and thanks to Olivia, he knew he didn’t need to fall back on old patterns of behaviour. He could move on, just as he’d told her he wanted to.
This time, instead of running away from someone else’s pain, he was going to run to.
His phone rang, and Ben slid it out of his pocket, grimacing slightly as he saw who it was. No big surprise there, really: Spencer was calling, no doubt to give him a piece of his mind about the breaking story.
‘Hey, Spencer.’
‘Ben.’ Spencer’s tone was even, but Ben could hear the frustration and anger underneath. Felt the blame.
‘I suppose you’ve seen the papers,’ he said.
‘Yes.’ Ben didn’t answer and Spencer continued, ‘You’ve made the Harrington woman look like a delusional idiot.’
Anger sliced through Ben, but he knew that emotion was hiding another. Hurt. ‘Do you think that was my intention?’ he asked quietly.
‘I don’t know what your intention was,’ Spencer answered, ‘but it’s not looking good, Ben. We can’t offend the Harringtons right now. I told you that...’
‘Do you think,’ Ben cut his brother off, ‘you could back me up just once instead of blaming me?’