He flopped back in the seat. “I want to know who despises me to the extent they would ruin my life.”
“Is it ruined?” If she focused on the negative aspects of her life, she might feel the same. “Are your friends not as close as brothers? Have you not amassed a great fortune that means you no longer need to crawl and beg to your parents? Have your experiences blackened your soul? No! You’re a good man, Hudson, a good man who happens to be related to selfish people.”
He remained silent.
“Promise me one thing,” she urged.
“That depends what it is.”
“Promise me, once we discover the truth you will lay the ghosts of the past to rest. Promise me, you will live your life without regret, without a heavy heart.”
He studied her through narrowed eyes. “You still want to help me despite playing the understudy to an actress?”
“As you said, I am far from the understudy. I just wish you’d told me the truth in the beginning.” It wouldn’t have stopped her accepting his offer, but she might have had more realistic expectations. The word hypocrite rang loud and clear in her ears. Perhaps his expectations might have been different, too, had he known the real reason she’d accepted. “Based on my performance, every theatre owner in the country would scramble to hire me.”
The last comment was said in jest to lighten the mood, but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
“Is everything part of the performance?” he said tersely.
Shocked that he could even ask the question, she said, “After what happened between us in the rotunda, I’m surprised you need to ask.”
They continued the rest of their journey in silence.
When they arrived in Berwick Street, Claudia was somewhat glad they were meeting Dr Hewlett. The hours spent trying to solve this mystery would detract from the confounding thoughts filling her head.
Hudson dragged out his pocket watch and studied the time. “We’ll wait here until the doctor arrives.” His voice still sounded strained.
“You fear Simmonds will turn him away?” she said in an even tone for they could not continue like this.
“Mother will begrudge the expense.”
“Even when the man might help save her husband?” Claudia would sell everything she owned to help Emily. She would sell everything she owned to help Hudson Lockhart, too.
“My father’s illness gives her something to complain about.”
“Some people thrive on drama,” she agreed.
The atmosphere settled, and they sat in companionable silence while awaiting the doctor.
Dr Hewlett arrived fifteen minutes late. He scurried down the road clutching his leather case in one hand while holding on to his top hat with the other.
Hudson opened the carriage door and vaulted to the pavement. He held out his hand to her and Claudia slipped her palm into his. Touching him seemed to drain all previous stresses away. He inhaled deeply, evidently feeling the power of their connection, too.
“Forgive me,” Dr Hewlett said as he came to a crashing halt and fought to catch his breath. “My last patient has a terrible addiction.”
“To laudanum or gin?” Hudson asked.
“To talking,” Dr Hewlett said with a chuckle.
“Well, you’ll not have that problem here.” Hudson glanced at an upper window. “For some reason, they’re keeping my father sedated.” He straightened. “Come, let’s not talk of it here. You should examine the patient yourself.”
Dr Hewlett gestured for Hudson to lead the way.
Simmonds opened the door and stepped back for them to enter the hall. No sooner had he closed the door than the dreadful din in the drawing room began.
“Who is it, Simmonds?” Hester Lockhart screeched the butler’s name when he failed to reply. “Answer me, man. Simmonds? Simmonds? If it’s the deserter, book him passage on the next boat sailing to India.”
The butler inclined his head. “Excuse me, sir. I must attend to the mistress.” Simmonds plodded to the drawing room and squared his slumped shoulders before entering.