Chapter 6
The taste of Leo’s lips had been her undoing.
During the journey in the carriage, she imagined giving him the explanation he desired. Hoping then he would leave satisfied in the knowledge she’d had a justifiable reason for turning him. Either that or he would use his sword to put her out of her misery for good.
But as soon as he stepped over the threshold, memories of their time together in the castle came flooding back and her steely composure crumbled. Since that first night, there had been an unexplainable attraction between them. The feeling went deeper than lust, perhaps even deeper than love — if there was such an emotion.
The years since their separation had been unbearable. Her bleeding heart had not even begun to heal. She could find no logic or reason for the depth of feeling consuming her. The number of nights or the length of time spent in his company held no significance. An hour spent together was as fulfilling as an entire lifetime for others.
“Start at the beginning,” Leo said settling back into his chair and crossing his legs at his ankles. He looked relaxed, comfortable and she knew he would not remain so for long.
“Then I shall begin with the night I bit the lord in the mausoleum,” she said wearily. She could not bear to talk of the night she lost her own humanity. “I was bitter, resentful, consumed by anger. I had been watching him for days, witnessed various unscrupulous acts.”
“You speak of Elliot. He does have a name, Ivana.” She could hear the hint of contempt in his tone. “You should know that both Elliot and Alexander are like brothers to me.”
She should have been surprised, but with their thoughts aligned and their powers for mind manipulation, she supposed it was inevitable they would find one another. “You were drawn to those who share an affinity for blood. The bonds formed during times of adversity are not easily broken.”
“Without Elliot’s friendship, I would not be sitting here. Was he the first person you turned?”
An image of her sinking her fangs into Nikolai’s foul neck flashed into her mind, and she shuddered, repulsed she should even think of it after all this time. “Yes. Elliot was the first man I poisoned with my tainted blood.”
Leo suddenly straightened, banged his fist on the arm of the chair. “God damn it, why?”
“Because of the children,” she implored. She would do anything to protect them, to save them from pain. She threw her hands in the air. “It is all for the children.”
Leo shook his head, confusion marring his brow. “But I don’t understand how the two are connected.”
Ivana took a deep breath as she would need to remain calm if she had any hope of finishing this tale.
“Herr Bruhn takes care of the children, the illegitimate offspring of the fine lords who pass through here and the servant women who will do anything to put food on the table.” Just saying the words aloud caused resentment to flare. “They come with their lofty manners and deceitful words, take their pleasure and leave nothing but misery behind in their wake. Poor innocent souls are discarded as though they are nothing, and it tears at my heart, rips it to shreds.”
He sat in silence. She watched him swallow visibly as his gaze focused on a point of no interest on the floor.
“Some women travel from the nearest town,” she continued in a desperate bid to make him understand. “Some are lured away by the promise of trinkets and pretty baubles. They leave the child of one gentleman behind when they go off with another. Some are not as lucky.” She swallowed, moistened her lips. “I do not blame the women. I blame the men desperate to satisfy their needs regardless of the human cost. Those men do not deserve the precious gift of life.”
Indeed, she blamed Nicolai, too. For taking a sweet, naive girl and turning her into a freak of nature, a monster left all alone, abandoned to the night.
Leo swallowed and then asked with an incredulous expression, “Is that why you turned Elliot, because of his licentious ways?”
Ivana sneered. “You should have seen him and his blatant disregard for others. If you would only come to see the children, Leo, you would know why I was forced to stop him. Now he can satisfy his needs without spreading his seed. Now he cannot hide the monster beneath his elegant clothes and fancy words. Now he must spend eternity in the knowledge he will never find someone who will accept him when they see him for what he truly is.”
“You’re wrong,” he snorted. “Elliot has recently married. His wife knows of his affliction, has witnessed him change. They are deeply in love.”
Ivana gasped in shock, but then upon reflection said, “Then I expect he will want to thank me. The man I met in the mausoleum was incapable of expressing any genuine emotion.”
Leo stood and walked over to the fire, placed his hands flat on the stone over-mantle as his head fell forward.
She could hear his muttered curses, sense his inner torment, feel his confusion and pain. He picked up the poker and stabbed at the glowing embers as though they had wronged him in some way.
“Did you take Elliot as your lover, too?” He did not turn to face her. “Did you lie with him like you did me?”
Ivana shot up and put her hand on his shoulder. “Good Lord, no.” If only Leo could remember what he meant to her. If only he could remember all they had shared, then he would not have asked such a ridiculous question.
He shrugged her hand away, but she remained at his shoulder. “And what of Alexander? He told me you brought him here in your carriage. He recalled lying on your bed.”
“And did he tell you what he was doing when I lured him away from the tavern? Did he?”
“No.”