How was she to break the news to him that he had a son?
She pushed the thought aside for the moment. Elliot needed her to ease his fears, and she needed him too. Without another word, she pushed his coat from his shoulders, fumbled with the buttons on his waistcoat. Understanding her silent plea, they undressed each other with an urgency that expressed the raging passion they shared.
When he covered her naked body and pressed her down into the bed, she felt safe. When he filled her with each deep thrust, everything felt right again. A slower, more intimate expression of their love followed the frantic, lust-fuelled coupling. Both activities brought a soul-deep level of satisfaction. Both activities worked to relax them, to banish the anger and fear.
They lay together in sated silence, but Grace’s thoughts were jumbled and chaotic. The curtain blew back and forth through the hole in the smashed window, and she shivered.
“I have something important to tell you,” she said as she snuggled closer to Elliot’s chest. “And I don’t know how to begin.”
Elliot rolled onto his side to face her, brushed the hair from her cheek. “Nothing could be as shocking as what I have witnessed tonight.”
Grace sighed. “We went to visit Herr Bruhn. He takes care of the orphan children of the village, with Ivana’s help and support.” When his mouth twitched at the mere mention of her name, Grace said, “Just listen to me for a moment before you say anything.”
Elliot smirked, a mischievous glint flashing in his eyes. “If my anger flares will you soothe it away with your soft hands? Will you caress me and stroke me until I forget what roused my ire?”
“I will do all of those things and more if you will just listen to what I must tell you.”
“Now you have my full attention.”
She thought it best to come straight to the point. “As I said, Ivana supports the children. They are the offspring of English lords who frolic with tavern wenches, with desperate women from the village.” Grace sucked in a breath, placed the palm of her hand over his heart. “That is why she bit you. To stop gentlemen like you fathering more children here.”
“Bloody hell!” he cursed. “I suspected that was the reason.” He fell silent for a moment while he contemplated her words. “I’ve never professed to be a saint, Grace. But I have always been careful in that regard.”
“You were not careful enough, Elliot.” She waited while he absorbed her words.
“Not careful?” he repeated, the faint lines across his brow growing more prominent. “What are you saying?”
She pressed her lips to his, pulled away and looked deeply into his brown eyes. “You have a son here,” she whispered. “A beautiful boy aged three. He lives with Herr Bruhn. Ivana reads to him and tucks him up in bed every night.”
He stared at her for the longest time, gulped and swallowed as he tried to speak. “Did … did the golden-haired devil tell you this?”
“I knew the moment I saw him sleeping so sweetly in his bed. He is like you in so many ways. Ivana merely confirmed what I suspected.”
He rolled onto his back, covered his eyes with his arm; his chest heaved as he struggled to control his breathing.
Grace knew he needed a little time to come to terms with what she had said. Throwing back the sheets, she climbed out of bed and pottered around the room. “I’ll drape a blanket over the window. We cannot risk the morning sun streaming through.”
“Come here. Come back to bed.”
Grace turned to face him. Her heart lurched at his tortured expression, but she knew she must not surrender her body to him. “My touch will not banish the ghosts this time, my love. You must embrace your emotions. You must examine your heart and your conscience.”
She could not ease his torment. She could not tell him how to react or what to do. If he made the wrong decision, if he chose to ignore his responsibilities then a part of her would not forgive him.
“I do not know what to think or feel.” He sat up, leant back against the pillow and dragged his palm down his face. “Who … where is his mother?”
“You must ask Ivana. You need to hear the story from her lips. Then you must meet your son. Only then will you know what to do. Only then will the answer become clear to you.”
He stared at her, his eyes conveying many unspoken words. “I … I don’t want to lose you.”
Graced rushed over to the bed. She tried to kiss away all of his doubts and fears. “You will never lose me, Elliot. We are bound together. Know that I will support you if you decide to take your son home.”
Elliot shook his head as his gaze drifted over her face. “You are a shining light in a world full of misery.”
Grace smiled. “And you are the most honest, kind and generous man I have ever known. Tomorrow we are to go to the castle. Ivana said we have many things to discuss. Listen to her, open your heart to your friend and brother and allow him the freedom to be happy.”
“You do not ask for much,” he mocked.
“Anyone can express anger, but it takes strength and courage to show forgiveness. Understanding Ivana’s motives might help to ease your pain.”