“What’s wrong?” she asked, her expression revealing a level of anxiety he’d not seen before. He knew then that he couldn’t tell her the truth about Sutherby, not now, not yet.
“Desire burns inside me,” he confessed. “The need to have you is overwhelming.”
She seemed pleased, his answer causing her to reveal her own desire as she pressed her body closer and ran her hands up over his chest.
“It’s too soon,” he said, hearing the lascivious train of her thoughts. Yet in truth, it felt like an eternity since he’d joined with her. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You keep saying that,” she said with a giggle. “I know you would never hurt me.”
“Let us sit under the tree, let me hold you in my arms. Tell me something you’ve never told another.”
She tilted her head, her gaze curious and he had to admit he did not sound like himself. Ignoring his suggestion, she took his hand and pulled him down. Bunching her nightgown up past her thighs she straddled him, taking him by surprise. “I’m sitting,” she said with a coy smile. “I want to be with you, Alexander. Nothing else matters.”
Everything else mattered.
But he would leave her to enjoy one more night in blissful ignorance. When he glanced down at her, the sight of her bare thighs gripping him was his undoing. He’d have one more night, too, a night to bask in her beauty. With eager fingers, he unbuttoned his breeches and pushed home.
She took the length of him with a pleasurable hum, moving the way he’d taught her just a few hours earlier. The ripples of pure pleasure made his soul soar, and he committed the feeling to memory.
As he sucked in a ragged breath, he glanced up to night sky, the varying shades of grey an ominous warning. Time was slipping away. He was in danger of being lost in the moment, and he gripped her hips to quicken the pace. Sitting up to wrap his arm around her waist, he rained kissed along her collarbone, claimed her mouth in a mad frenzy as he helped her to pump him quickly.
Their release came like a bolt from the sky, swift and sudden, their
bodies jerking violently in response. She held onto him as her shudders subsided and he imagined lying with her in bed, holding her close until the night came again.
“I should be going,” he said, knowing he would have to run through the streets to make it home before sunrise. Yet still he struggled to free himself from her warm body.
When they’d fixed their clothing, he offered a chaste kiss. “You should hurry before someone sees you,” he said. “I’ll wait until you’re safely inside.”
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him again. “Will I still see you tomorrow?”
“You mean today,” he said with a weak smile, brushing her hair from her face. “Yes. There are many things we need to discuss.”
Chapter 19
The thin rays of dawn managed to find a way through the gaps in the curtains, the hazy slivers of light coming to rest on Evelyn’s bed. She’d not slept since Alexander had left but only drifted in and out of whimsical daydreams. Conjuring fanciful musings of Alexander Cole was the next best thing to being held in his arms.
She had often imagined a love so deep it would make her heart ache. The reality was a feeling of intense euphoria infused with a gut-wrenching pain brought about by even the shortest separation. Now she understood why the loss of one’s true love caused many people to drink themselves into oblivion.
When one truly loved someone, there was no need to sit and think and examine one’s feelings. True love brought a level of acceptance — she felt the truth of it deep in her core, and nothing could ever change it. All those hours spent pondering over a match with Mr. Sutherby, dredging up every logical reason why she should accept, had all been in vain. Even if she’d tried, she could never have loved him like she loved Alexander.
The thought of Mr. Sutherby’s clammy hands caressing her body made her shiver, and she jumped out of bed, threw back the curtains and picked up her book from the nightstand. A few hours reading, a late breakfast and by the time she’d washed, dressed and daydreamed a little more, the hours would soon pass.
There are many things we need to discuss.
Her stomach flipped over when she recalled Alexander’s words. The earliest she imagined him calling was two. It was only hours away, yet it felt like weeks, months.
Evelyn managed to read a few pages of her book before her mind drifted back to Alexander. Perhaps she should have borrowed Hatton’s Secrets in Every Mansion in the hope the novel would offer some insight into the reason why he had locked himself away at Stony Cross. He had tried to tell her his secret last night, but she’d wanted him to know she loved him unconditionally and wanted nothing to distract from the moment.
Perhaps he had an illegitimate child, although that would hardly prevent him from embracing Society. Perhaps he was the one responsible for the terrible carriage accident, and the only way to cope with the guilt was to live the life of a recluse. Perhaps he was debt-ridden and had no other choice but to be frugal. Considering the dilapidated condition of his estate and his paltry pantry, the last option sounded the most feasible.
With the tip of her finger, she scanned the page looking for a familiar sentence so she could continue reading. After a few more pages, impatience finally won through, and she decided not to wait for Katie’s morning call.
When she walked into the dining room wearing her nightgown and wrapper, her aunt’s lower lip almost hit the table.
“Evelyn. What are you doing down so early? It must only be eight o’clock.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” She walked over to the sideboard, picked up a plate and lifted the lid on the silver serving dish. The smell of bacon wafted up to tease her nostrils, and her stomach groaned in appreciation. The early morning activities had left her famished. “I’ve been wide awake for hours and my mind was too distracted to read.”