The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two (Fairyland 3)

The lobster cleared her throat—do lobsters have a throat? September wondered.

“Welcome to Almanack, the All-In-One! Sanctuary, Safehouse, Home of the Stationary Circus and the College of Lunar Arts, Number One Tourist Destination on the Heavenly Circuit and Capital of the Moon! These are my associates Rushe and Waite, Knights of the Crepuscular Girdle, and I am Nefarious Freedom Coppermolt the Third, Lobster of the Watch.”

“This is Almanack? There’s…a city in there?”

The white jackal laughed, a shrill yip and cry.

“What else would it be? The highway leads here, after all.”

“But highways might lead anywhere!”

Nefarious Freedom Coppermolt the Third stamped her fork. “They might, but they don’t. King Crunchcrab decreed that in a proper Empire, all roads lead to capitals, and they couldn’t have rogue roads just lying about leading anywhere they pleased. A road has to go to a city at the least, or else it will be arrested and sent to the countryside for rehabilitation.”

September could not quite believe this, but she could not quite disbelieve it, either. She thought she ought to visit Charlie, and sooner rather than later.

“Of course, the Moon isn’t strictly speaking part of Fairyland,” Rushe, the white jackal, growled.

“No it is not,” harrumphed the lobster. “My great-great-grandmother, for whom I am named, would pinch her own gravestone rather than see it happen. She fought in the Battle of the Whelk when the Moon washed its hands of Fairies and threw away the bucket. Wrestled a basilisk to a standstill, my gran! Lost her claw in a Fairy’s mouth, but it was mostly turned to stone anyway. Lived to lay her eggs and shed her shell and show no mercy to collaborating crayfish. Now I serve in her name and in her place! Nobody throws a fork farther. I also juggle better than you might expect,” she added confidentially. “Just to pass the time.”

“But the Road starts in Fairyland, so it’s theirs, too, and they get to order it about and tell it its shortcomings and sen

d it to sit in a corner and think about what it’s done,” finished the black jackal Waite.

“For now,” said Nefarious Freedom darkly. She clapped her pincers together.

“Well,” said September, taking a deep breath, “if this is Almanack, this is where I’m meant to be!” She pulled the long, carved box from the backseat and held it before her like a shield. “I’m to take this directly to the Whelk of the Moon.”

The Lobster of the Watch tapped on the lid with her claw and listened for an echo. If one sounded, September did not hear it.

“Well, I don’t think that’s likely,” barked Waite.

“You must be joking,” growled Rushe.

“You do know the lee side is riddled with holes and tunnels?” Nefarious Freedom added in a low voice. “I don’t know why you’d even try to come in by the front gate in broad daylight. Bold of you! But goodness, why? Has someone told you we were easy marks? That we could be bought? It’s not so, or my name isn’t—”

September leapt in. “What on earth are you talking about? I only want to put this thing down where it belongs and be on my way!”

Rushe narrowed his dark eyes. “You mean smuggle in some sort of device or weapon or counterfeit or…”

“…stolen property or wicked beastie or bomb,” finished Waite.

“Certainly not!”

“But you’re a Criminal!” snapped the Lobster of the Watch.

“Oh, I’m no such thing,” September sighed.

“But you’re dressed like one,” whined Rushe, his pink tongue lolling out of his muzzle.

“Well, if you’re going to go passing judgment on those what wear black,” retorted Waite, thumping his black tail, “then so am I.”

“What’s in there?” Rushe sniffed at it, his ruff bristling.

“I…I don’t rightly know, but a Wind gave it to me specially and though Winds can be rather rude sometimes, they’re very rarely nasty. I’m sure it’s nothing like what you said!” But was she sure? It was terribly heavy.

Nefarious Freedom clapped her pincers again in exasperation. “If you’re wearing silks, you’re a Criminal of the Realm. Tell me you haven’t got a writ in your pocket!”

September could not. She pulled it out of the deep, soft slits of her black trousers and unfolded it for the guards to see. Nefarious Freedom covered her eyes and would not look at it.