No, don’t touch me. Call Ada. I won’t stay in this house another second.
The Deep Blue Devil
The Man in the Malachite Mask
Doctor Callow’s Dream:
The House, the Eye, and the Whale
Once upon a time, in the Land of Milk and Desire, there lived a boy who had outsmarted his birthright. Whether he knew it or not, this is a very dangerous thing to do. A birthright can’t be cut off like a bit of fingernail—it hangs about, sullen, limping through the years with two wooden legs and a clay hand, waiting, slinking, sniffing for a chance to get in the game again.
Only once did Anchises, whom everyone called Doctor Callow, tell a grown person about the workings of his heart. When he was eight and believed that his biggest wishes-which-were-not-really-wishes were behind him, little Doctor Callow went to see a witch (who was not really a witch, but an ornery old woman who had once made her living as an ostentatious fortune teller in Judgment-of-Paris, one of the great cities of the southern part of the Land of Milk and Desire, very far from Adonis, a city where the laws against conflict are so strict that the slightest bickering over a supper bill is cause for expulsion). The witch’s name was Hesiod—though it wasn’t, really. She had been born Basak Uzun, but began trying to escape her name as soon as her mouth got big enough to say it. She tried on many new names before she saw “Hesiod” in a beautiful book about the ancient days of Home, a place she had never seen and would never see. The name sounded to her like yellow sunlight on brown, dry earth, and she took it the way some young persons take trinkets when a shopkeeper’s back is turned, even though it was a boy’s name. She didn’t find that out until much later, and by then, she didn’t care. Hesiod fell in love with a dashing diver and came away from Judgment-of-Paris to homestead in Adonis, a place so new at the time that it didn’t have a name. When her beloved died at sea—brushed ever so lightly, as lightly as a lover, by the frond of a callowhale—Hesiod returned to her old ways, for telling fortunes is a hard habit to break.
Anchises strung six trout-which-were-not-really-trout on a heavy rope and brought them along to pay for his fortune. Hesiod’s hut, its veranda washed by salt wind, its windows pink sea glass, sat, quite satisfied with itself, by the shore of the Qadesh. Anchises knocked three times, which is traditional. Hesiod answered him, her long grey hair plaited with cacao-husks and ocean daisies (which are not really daisies, but livid, lilac, languorous anemones that can survive for six days without water). Doctor Callow presented his gift of fish.
Hesiod plucked out one of the fish’s eyes and ate it without a word. It must have tasted good, as eyes go, for she shrugged and let him into her house, sat him on a driftwood-which-was-not-really-driftwood chair, and pulled out her cards. She spread them on the table in a graceful fan, like a casino girl (which Hesiod had also been when she was young). The witch-who-was-not-really-a-witch had a crystal ball, too, but she never used it and it wore a perfect coat of dust. It was just for show, but people like a fortune-teller with a crystal ball.
“What’s your name?” said Hesiod gruffly. She wasn’t really gruff, but people like a grouchy witch. A friendly one couldn’t possibly know anything about the world.
“Doctor Callow,” answered the boy proudly.
“No it isn’t,” snorted the old woman.
His little shoulders fell. “It’s Anchises Kephus, ma’am,” he mumbled.
“That’s fine, boy. I can always spot another scrap who’s shucked their name. If a name doesn’t fit you, best leave it on the road for someone else who’ll like it better.”
The witch-who-wasn’t-really-a-witch and the boy-who-was-really-a-boy sat without talking or moving for quite a while. Anchises didn’t know how to explain his life to her. It sounded silly when he tried to make words out of it. He had become very good at figuring things out without asking adults about anything, and he found it hard—painful, even—to change his ways now. He was eight years old, and that, he thought, was a long time to get used to living a certain way.
Hesiod coughed and pulled a cigarette (which was not really a cigarette, but a shag made of black, bilious, brackish callowkelp, more expensive than beer from Home, wrapped up in newsprint) out of her deep bosom. She lit it, and the room filled with a scent like sumac and ozone and coffee and possibilities. “You have to ask a question, you know.” She chuckled. “It costs a lot more than fish for the kind of fortune where you don’t say anything.”
Anchises took a breath as big as his eight years. “I think that I have a curse, Miss Hesiod. Maybe it’s not a curse—maybe it’s no different than being born with yellow hair, or something. But I don’t have yellow hair; I have this. I think I’ve had it since I was little—littler than I am now, I mean. This is what I think the curse is, ma’am: Anything I wish for doesn’t come true.”
Before Doctor Callow’s words came out of his mouth, they felt as heavy and swirling and important and salty as the Qadesh. But with every word he said to Hesiod, he hated the sound of his voice in the smoky hut and the words it was making even more. These words were small and they only meant what they said, not how they felt before he said them. He nearly wept with the frustration of it.
“Oh,
you silly little turtle. All children think that. Hell, I think that, sometimes.” Witches, even those who aren’t really witches, like to swear, and their customers like it, too. As a rule, Hesiod tried to keep to no fewer than four profanities per visit.
The boy gritted his teeth. “No, that’s not what I mean. I’ve had a long time to go over it—and I did go over it, carefully, like the men from Prithvi testing callowmilk for alkalinity. I do have a curse! Listen to me, I brought you fish!” Anchises calmed himself down, which was not easy for him, then or later. “These are things I know about it so far: It doesn’t matter if I want it very much or not much at all. It doesn’t matter if it’s a big thing or a little thing. I have to say the wish out loud or it doesn’t count—if I just think about it, nothing happens—but I don’t have to say any particular magic words. It’s enough to say I’d like rice-suckers for supper tonight, or I really want…” But he couldn’t say anything he really wanted, because he was so afraid the curse wouldn’t know the difference between wishing and an example of a wish he might make, and already he wouldn’t be getting rice-suckers for dinner, which he loved. He said the next part as quickly as he could, in case saying it at a normal speed would make it all come undone. “And if I am very careful and wish for the exact opposite of the thing I want, I get what I wanted in the first place, which I guess is called a loophole.”
Hesiod smoked her cigarette-that-wasn’t-really-a-cigarette thoughtfully. “How big can you do? If you wished for the sun to come up tomorrow, would the world end?”
“I don’t know, I’d never dare!”
“You never know unless you try.” The crone shrugged.
“I think…I think it’s just things to do with me. Or, at least, people I know,” he added hastily, thinking of the girl with the black ponytail. “It’s localized phenomena,” he whispered, lifting a phrase from one of his textbooks.
“Big words from a little man. If you’ve got this all figured out, what do you need me for? Have you got a question, or haven’t you?”
“Yes! Hold on! Jeez!” It was all getting away from him, skidding out from under his feet like red sand. Anchises shoved his hand in his shirt pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, on which he had written his question in neat, round letters, in case he got confused or upset. “What Is Going to Happen to Me?” he read slowly, evenly. “Is This Going to Happen Forever? Is It a Real Loophole? What Can I Do So It Goes Away?” He looked up at the fleshy lilac flowers in Hesiod’s hair and her big cataracted eyes. “Am I gonna be okay?”
Hesiod thought of fortune cards no differently than she thought of casino cards: each had a value, which changed according to its position on the table, and when it was laid down near other cards, their combined values made a winning or a losing hand. She dealt three cards from her deck as quick as breathing.
The House. The Eye. The Whale.
The House had a hut on it that looked a lot like Hesiod’s hut, only made up all of locks: locks for doors, locks for windows, a lock-thatched roof. The house stood, all locked up, under a sky full of stars, and in some of the stars, faces with suspicious eyes glared down. The Eye had three old ladies on it. They all had white hair that hung down like pillars to the ground. They wore silver, and they wore blindfolds. The middle one had an eyeball in her outstretched hand, from a green eye. The Whale had a callowhale on it, but it was not like Anchises’s drawing of a callowhale. It looked like a stone wrapped up in grass, only the leaves of the grass were shaped like peacock feathers, and they had eyes in them, too.