Mass Effect

Yorrik let out a small trumpeting squawk of indignation. Three of his stomachs curdled. Had the hanar a nose, it would have gagged from the stench of hot soup and rotting fruit that flooded the room as the elcor’s humiliation reached his scent glands.

“Naumm?” said Borbala Ferank.

“Is someone else there with you?” the drell asked sharply.

“Deeply insulted: Naumm? My name is Yorrik. Betrayed: Why would you call me that? I told you that in confidence.”

“This one meant no offense. Yorrik is your soul name, chosen to match the true nature of your holistic being. This one did not wish to enter into intimacy with you, nevertheless, you intemperately shared both your names with this hanar, and thus by the law of the Enkindlers a bond exists where this one desired none. It is this one’s duty to protect those with whom it shares a bond. You should not use your soul name so casually, among workplace colleagues and batarians. This one calls you by your face name to honor and protect—”

“With hurt and anger: Don’t.”

The hanar dipped its shell-like head in shame. “This one begs all those present to allow it to present a simple solution—”

“Embarrassed determination: No, I will remember. I can remember. I am not better than Grandfather Varlaam and I will not let my ancestors down. Speculative response: Anything phosphorescent is likely to have usable compounds, however…” It was coming back to him now. The labels on Varlaam’s bottles, the little mnemonics his grandfather learned from the chattering traders who sold him those bottles by the crate. He’d loved them. He’d been so charmed by the idea of needing words to remember something when you could just give it a sniff and know everything about it. “Reciting from memory: A minimum of six dyes are necessary to perform a broad-spectrum screen. Impatience with the effects of aging on the mind: What was it Grandfather used to say? What was it? He thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, a mnemonic of infinite jest…” Yorrik’s lip slates flared stubbornly.

“This one must insist that this mental effort is—”

“Triumphant roar: I’ve got it! Happy Turians Treat Raloi and Rachni to Dinner. Proudly: We specifically need hydroxypyrene, trisulfonic acid, thionin acetate, rhodamine, ruthenium dichloride, and… delicately: the commercial dye known as Drell Belly Green no. 15.”

“Is that what it is known as?” came Anax’s dry voice on the comm.

“Regretful reply: I am sorry, I did not name it.”

The hanar’s skin flashed a furious blue. The smell of clean fish and seawater coming off Ysses had turned to rotting fish and sopping mold.

“Who does this one have to strangle to get a word in edgewise in this Enkindler-forsaken place? Listen, unbelievers!” Ysses tilted its head upward. Its tentacles fell straight and relaxed to the floor. “This one wishes to speak with the computer interface of the ship Keelah Si’yah.”

Hello, Sleepwalker Ysses.

“Greetings, Keelah Si’yah. This one entreats you to list the ways in which blood may be analyzed without the use of a medical scan.”

In case of power malfunctions, please access the data hub on Deck 14. In the meantime, limited results may be achieved using a microscope, electron microscope, quantum microscope, cell cultures, hemagglutination assay, gene sequencing, injection of artificial antibodies in order to bind with any antigens present, enzymatic catalyzation, chemical reactivity tests, or the introduction of fluorescent dyes into the sample.

“Forgive this one’s further intrusion, but what are the names of these fluorescent dyes?”

Hydroxypyrene, trisulfonic acid, thionin acetate, rhodamine, ruthenium dichloride, and veridium tricupridase, known commercially as Drell Belly Green no. 15.

Ysses’s satisfaction smelled like sunlight on warm water and boiling sugar. Yorrik usually liked it when people smelled happy. He didn’t like it now.

“This one has been attempting to inform its companions that there is no need to reinvent the submersible. The Keelah Si’yah may be blind, but it is not yet stupid. Though all living beings are but savages beside the grace of the Enkindlers, no one has yet been reduced to utter barbarians. The gifts of the gods still abound. Keelah Si’yah, this one respectfully wonders where these dyes may be most commonly found?”

“Well, I’ll be fucked by a turian with a grudge,” laughed Borbala. “Shoulda listened to the jelly.”

Hydroxypyrene is used frequently to amplify the output of industrial and domestic worklights by applying a thick coating to all reflective surfaces. Trisulfonic acid—

Anax yelled suddenly from the innards of crate NN1469P/R. “Wait! Wait a second, I’m certain I saw—yes! I’ve got a bedside lightdome here. It is shaped like a m

iniature omni-tool. One down! All right, K, what follows hydroxypyrene on our glow-in-the-dark grocery list?”

Trisulfonic acid is an important component in small to mid-size batteries and power packs as well as cosmetics suitable for dextro-protein species.

“There must be some quarian make-up in there. Check the mother’s stuff,” Borbala advised, and by the clarity of her voice on the comm, she was still advising while lounging comfortably outside the crate.

“Belaboring the obvious: Do you think quarians live their whole lives in suits only to open them up every morning and put on lipstick?” Yorrik droned.

“Actually, the microscope ‘comes ready-to-learn with four supplementary power packs to satisfy even the needs of your little scientist.’ Batteries secured. Next, K.” The drell was actually beginning to sound cheerful.

Thionin acetate is used primarily by weapons manufacturers to illuminate power indicators, overheat displays, night-scopes, and decorative flourishes without draining the main fuel supply of the weapon, as well as in the payload of certain flare guns.