Shallow River

“WHERE WERE YOU?” Ryan asks right as I step through the door. I pause, and fuck, that made me look guilty. He’s sitting on the couch, one foot resting on his knee as he watches ESPN. The house is spotless, and our cat, Bilby, snoozes on the headrest behind him.

“I got ice cream with Amelia after class.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he says snidely, not taking his eyes off the screen once. “She acts like a whore, so I’m sure there were guys there, too.”

I sigh softly. “Babe, it was just us two, I promise. No guys. And she’s happily married to David.”

He rolls his tongue in his mouth. He’s radiating anger. The air stinks of his bad attitude. “Let me see your phone then.” I hesitate. Why does he need to see my phone?

He holds out an expectant hand. Reluctantly, I hand it over. Not because I have anything to hide, but because he doesn’t trust me and I want to fix that. Ryan’s my first relationship, so it’s not like I’m a notorious cheater and have a past. Don’t get me wrong, I slept around with a few guys and Ryan knows that, but I was single and unattached. Ryan’s done the same, so it’s not fair to hold my past against me. His distrust is completely unwarranted. I’ve never given Ryan any reason to think I’d want anyone else.

I watch him open my messages, scroll through them, and then open each chat and check those. Then he opens my social media, and finally, my pictures. He sets the phone down and nods his head in acceptance.

“Does this mean I get to look through your phone, too?” I say with an edge of bitterness. He looks up at me, and stares at me blankly. Embarrassment floods me. I’ll take that as a no.

“How was work?” I try, changing the subject and attempting to sound cheerful. I hate it when he’s angry.

He turns his glare to me. “My dad hired a new secretary. Same age as me. Couldn’t keep her slut hands to herself.”

My blood runs cold, and anxiety bursts in my stomach, swirling around like acid. Is she prettier than me? Did he fuck her? What if she’s better than me?

“She better have,” I snap, my increasingly dormant attitude rising to the surface.

Finally, a smile. Or rather, a smirk. His foot begins to bounce on his knee.

“Don’t worry, baby. I don’t want anyone but you,” he assures with saccharine sweetness. Something dark unfurls in my chest, tainting any semblance of a good mood I had going. Alison had already put a damper on my day, and now Ryan’s weird attitude is completely ruining it.

“Come here, baby. I just missed you, that’s all. I’m pathetic and just want you around all the time,” he says, patting the couch next to him. His tone seems genuine, though I still hesitate. Slowly, my fists unfurl, and my shoulders relax. Little red crescents are imprinted in my palm, and it burns. I hadn’t realized I even clenched them.

At my reaction, his smile widens. “Come here. I missed you.”

I walk over, grateful that he’s in a better mood. I’m still a little angry about the woman, but when he looks at me with as much pride as he is now, it’s hard not to forget about her.

I cuddle into his side, and he wraps an arm around me. A light kiss lands on my temple, and I’m tempted to start purring like Bilby.

A finger curls under my jaw, and gently, he raises my chin until I’m staring into his faded blue eyes. “Please don’t ever leave me. I couldn’t live without you.”

“I would never leave you,” I promise.

He shakes his head, and what looks like agony passes over his face. “Good. I don’t think I would survive it. I’d probably kill myself.”

A line forms between my brows. His words are sweet and unsettling all in the same breath. “Don’t say that, Ryan,” I demand softly. “You wouldn’t kill yourself.”

“I would,” he says firmly, his eyes boring into mine.

“Why?” I ask incredulously.

“I’ll never find anyone that makes me as happy as you do,” he says softly. “I’ll never find anyone as perfect as you.”

I melt. Like that fucking ice cream I ate earlier.

“I’m not. You’re perfect for me.”

He smiles, showcasing his beautiful smile. “Yeah?”

I bite my lip and nod. He grabs my hand and rubs it over his hard dick, straining against his shorts.

“Why don’t you show me how perfect I am for you.”